Monday, 30 June 2014

The BBC's gone poptastical.....

Over the weekend the BBC went wall to wall Glastonbury... and by some accounts it seems some of the presenters had never been let out of school before... they were like kids on a school outing.....

I have always fancied doing Glasto..... even at my ripe old age, but it seems there was 175,000 people trying to watch 2,000 acts....and there were some fantastic bands playing.... and even the odd pensioner or two.....

Back in 2011 I saw Kings of Leon live at Slane Castle, Dublin..... and proof if proof was needed..... here is the proof....



It was a fantastic day but as you can see.... [towards the end of the vid] I reckon the folks in the hot air balloon got a closer view.....

But what a line up..... we had the White Lies, Thin Lizzy [of course sans Phil Lynott, but as a side note TL were the first headline act at Slane Castle some 25 years earlier], then there was Elbow, and finally KoL..... all doing a full set..... [there were a couple of other minor bands but never heard of em..]

But at the end of the day, and just one day I was all music'd out.... I could take no more.... and so no matter how many great bands there might be at Glastonbury.... there is a limit to just how much you can take...... My mate Jake Bugg did some great numbers..... but would my life been any better had I experienced him at Glastonbury instead of Norwich ?..... erm .... erm ....no.....

But it's the atmosphere....... the excited CBeebies presenters kept reminding us..... aaaah yeah... the atmosphere.......

The atmosphere..... the same atmosphere that dumped.... torrential rain on you and made the fields a mud bath..... ooooh that atmosphere....



And so for my song of the day today, 
from the comfort of my 
dry clean office chair
I am minded of this song.... 
he didn't play Glastonbury this year, 
but when I heard this song, 
and I saw those scenes.... 
it sure was metallic clouds....





and as this is my blog.....
and as this also a fab song....
I can play this one too...



Friday, 27 June 2014

You and Me..... I lost you....


I waited a long time
All for you
I waited a long time
I lost you
I was sleeping in the backseat
When I got home
I was finally reminded
I lost you......


Thursday, 26 June 2014

You and Me..... Canadian Girl.......


You'll miss me when I'm gone
But the happy music will carry on
You are the morning
I am the night
I was the only one left at the right time...

Wednesday, 25 June 2014

You and Me...... The Red Moon......


The riptide is pulling me under
I'm drifting, drifting away
Tomorrow the sun will be brighter
The water will rise and wash us away



Tuesday, 24 June 2014

You and Me.... The Blue Route......


You keep replaying through the days
That have brought you to this place
You wandered down an open road 
and you kept going

What happened to you


Monday, 23 June 2014

Friday, 20 June 2014

Football's not coming home...... [redux]

So there I was this time last week, with the blind stupid belief that this year might be different...

But nooooo..... same as before...... and at 51 years old, I am left thinking there are not many more world cups left in me..........listening to the plethora of pundits all telling us where it went wrong........ as if we are not capable of working it out for ourselves....

So I came to the conclusion that rather than wasting 
vast amounts of energy in debating it..... 
it can instead be summed up by a simple phrase.....

Fucking useless...


can't even be arsed to nominate a SoD.....

Wednesday, 18 June 2014

Her liver was split in two.....

He kicked her so hard, it caused her liver to split into two separate parts.....

Think about it, he didn't use anesthetic and scalpel and perform surgery to carry out this physical act....

He used the power of his leg, no doubt with a big fook off boot at the end of it, swung it in her direction and then made full contact with her body....... and the resultant effect ?..... her liver was now in two..... she died.....

Now to be fair, looking at him.....


if I got on the wrong side of him in a pub in between pints 6 and 7 [that's his 6 or 7 pints not mine] I am not sure I'd want to get into a fight with him....but hey I am a 51 year old man not a 2.5 year little girl who had just soiled herself.....

I mean these two and half year little girls can be quite a handful, he must have been so frightened for his own safety he did what he knew best, he lashed out.....

Alas for Amina Agboola she was not a 51 year old man in the pub...... she was the child in the wrong place..........

This fucking half breed by the name of Dean Harris murdered a two and a half year old little girl, but not just killed her, he so brutally attacked her, it caused her liver to split in two......

As if this story in it's own right is not bad enough, we are told, [and one only assumes this to be correct], but we are told that the fucking half breed of a mother..... by the name of Sarah Racqueman... we are told that this fuckwit, had been warned repeatedly by professionals that Dean Harris posed a threat to children....
"Racqueman was repeatedly warned by professionals that Dean Harris posed a risk of serious physical harm to children but she chose to ignore those warnings"
What the word repeatedly means, is that she was told not once, not twice but at least more than twice, that this fuckwit Dean Harris was at serious risk of causing physical harm to children.

So that means people said to her...... Sarah this man is fucking dangerous, keep your children away from this lunatic.... he poses a serious risk of kicking one of your children and causing their liver to be split in two, and this will prove fatal to that child..... and it will be a painful death for that child..... that child will suffer immense pain in the last moments of her very very short life.....

We are even told that......
"Social services had warned her that he was capable of violence, used drugs and had abused his former girlfriend"
But no, the message did not sink in....

Last year we read the terrible story of Daniel Pelka.... and whilst Amina Agboola suffered a tragic end it seems like Daniel, her death was not the start of her injuries..... it was merely the tragic end...

Dean Harris, and the fuckwit mother of Amina Agboola will be sentenced later....we are told....

Why bother ?..... seriously ?...... why are we wasting good time and money ?.....

Dean Harris.... here is your number..... you are lucky number 6...... when your number is called out.... please step forward, and when we place this rope around your neck....no kicking out.... because be aware we are pulling this lever today.... and as you fall we do suspect you might soil your pants..... although you can be consoled by the thought that your liver will not split in two.......



And the Sun's front page headlines for today?



We that's a relief then.......

Monday, 16 June 2014

Not even a Scooby snack is gunna make....

.... England play better, me thinks.

As ever, the England world cup team once again meet our expectations, and once again as England fans are are told to bullshit ourselves just how positive the defeat was..... the team was excellent in this defeat...... all the pundits and press tell us...... err nooooo, defeat sucks..... we are there to win a fooking cup..... we are not there to be the positive losers in the post match interviews.....

I have no intention of seeing the positive in this defeat.... there's only one way to win the world cup and that is by sticking the ball in the back of the net more times than your opponent.....so Roy tell them to fooking get on with it !

Perhaps Roy should have played Phil Neville and bored the fookers to death.....

But if the obvious signs of world cup early exit are not enough to wear us down, the bad news continued....... over the weekend Shaggy died..... Shaggy and Scooby Doo were one of the greatest double acts on TV, up there with the greats Laurel and Hardy, Fred & Ginger, Abbott & Costello, Fred & Barney..... just how Shaggy never won an oscar is beyond me......

Surely one of the best theme tunes......



And if that was not bad enough, over the weekend we were also told that Capt Scarlet died.... but surely not, he is was indestructible......

Of course regardless of your age, the TV you watch in your formative years stays with you forever,  just like the 1970 world cup in Mexico, but to hear that one of the coolest guys ever to appear on TV has left this life leaves you wondering....we will ever win the world cup again ?


Growing up before calculators were developed, let alone the internet, the escapades of Captain Scarlet et al....... to a young boy were all about adventure and imagination..... but today when you read the news about Captain Scarlet and Shaggy, you are just reminded that the days are ebbing away.... there aren't too many world cups left in me I fear......


Roy I have proper black footie boots
non of those poncy shite things they are all wearing
and if those fookers in Brazil don't wanna perform 
then in the great words of LC......
Roy I'm your man !





here's a bonus LC..... just how sublime is this...
pure wonder of his music....


[the audio is not that good but this is the only version of this
particular video on youtube as it seems that in the Uk
there are licence issues over this video,
even though it is here...but can't be watched !]



Thursday, 12 June 2014

Football's coming home.......

That's right...... Football !...... non of this soccer shite......

After all the hype, World Cup Willie is finally erect today and we can once again give ourselves to the never ending belief that football is coming home..... for those of us a certain age, it is all down to this.....






I was 3 years old at the time, so I would love to say I remembered it, but only through replays..... but for those who then enjoyed the 1970 Mexico World cup in all it's colour and glory..... we live in forever hope that football is coming home...... and of course we all know what the truth is..... will this year be any different ?

I think not....but that doesn't stop us...... come on engerland ! Rooooooney on me hed son ......

My prediction for the final is : - Brazil 2 vs Argentina 0

But the one thing about the pundit's lead up to this world cup is just how much shite is spouted about the potential line up for the England team. Whether it is 5Live or MoTD, talk about speaking to fill a vacuum. Who gives a rat's arse whether Rooney will be playing left of centre or if Gerrard will fall deep........ all that matter's is sticking the pig's bladder in the back of the Italian net on Saturday night.

Till then here's 3 SoD's 
of the greatest world cup songs ever

Some of the crowd have put their headphones on
they think it's all over.....










but it is now......



Friday, 6 June 2014

The Longest Day........


70 years ago today and the second world war turned into the decisive beginning of the end.....

But the D-Day landing, successful though it was came at a very heavy price. There is no absolute figure of all deaths, that is all as in, regardless of nationality....but here is some extracts quoted from the D-Day Museum web page......
How many Allied and German casualties were there on D-Day, and in the Battle of Normandy?
There is no "official" casualty figure for D-Day. In April and May 1944, the Allied air forces lost nearly 12,000 men and over 2,000 aircraft.  The Allied casualties figures for D-Day have generally been estimated at 10,000, including 2,500 dead. However recent painstaking research by the US National D-Day Memorial Foundation has achieved a more accurate - and much higher - figure for the Allied personnel who were killed on D-Day. They have recorded the names of individual Allied personnel killed on 6 June 1944 in Operation Overlord, and so far they have verified 2,499 American D-Day fatalities and 1,914 from the other Allied nations, a total of 4,413 dead (much higher than the traditional figure of 2,500 dead). 
The total German casualties on D-Day are not known, but are estimated as being between 4,000 and 9,000 men.
Naval losses for June 1944 included 24 warships and 35 merchantmen or auxiliaries sunk, and a further 120 vessels damaged.
Over 425,000 Allied and German troops were killed, wounded or went missing during the Battle of Normandy. 
Today, twenty-seven war cemeteries hold the remains of over 110,000 dead from both sides: 77,866 German, 9,386 American, 17,769 British, 5,002 Canadian and 650 Poles.
Between 15,000 and 20,000 French civilians were killed, mainly as a result of Allied bombing.

These figures are quite staggering when we compare them to loss of life events today. But which ever side of the fighting you were on, it was still war and thinking about it, as I sit here typing this, exactly 70 years ago to the very moment that the fighting on the beaches was at it's most brutal.

It may well be Hollywood, it may only be a movie, an American one at that, but Saving Private Ryan does at least give the closest perception what events could have been like on that day. I do recognize that perhaps it's not remotely the same, but I can reflect relief at being born in 1963 as opposed to say 1923.

A few years back we were on holiday near Bayeux at the time of 6th June and so the history of the invasion did form part of my history lesson, not sure that the wife and kids were too keen though.... but we visited Arromache, which was reportedly the first French town to be liberated by the allies in WW2.

I [sans wife and children] visited the 360 degree Cinema....... should you ever find your self in that part of the world, and are interested in the history of the war and D-Day landings, I urge you to visit the Cinema, you will not regret such a humbling experience.... There are no seats and the film wraps around you 360 degree's. It starts off all very relaxed as you appear to be on a fishing boat, leaving harbour on a beautiful sunny day, and then just as you least expect it, the footage reverts to a landing craft on D-Day..... the same is done for plane, and tank and I assure you there is no more sobering film than this. As all the patrons walked out of the Cinema not word was spoken by anyone..... it certainly wasn't Saving Private Ryan but I would be hugely surprised if Steven Spielberg has not visited this Cinema.

Of course the D-Day landings were the precursor to the end of the war in Europe, but WW2 would not be over for some time yet. It would still be some time before the war ended in the far east.

One of the best historical accounts of the full effect of war, as seen through the eyes of a young man, then that would be With the Old Breed: At Peleliu and Okinawa by E B Sledge [born in 1923] .He passed away shortly after the turn of this Century but his book makes it visible to the reader, the day to day life of the soldier from the mundane of army life, to the brutality of hand to hand combat.

So as I sit here today, in my comfortable seat, supping coffee on demand, I shall spare a thought for all those soldiers of whatever nation, who faced that challenge 70 years ago today.

Not a day for a Song of the Day, perhaps a Poem of the day maybe........

Soldier's Ghost

I bled for you - would you for me?

I blessed a skin in blazing fuel
Then took a bullet in a duel of
‘He or I to Die.'

I often question ‘Why? '
Do you?

My country was my life to give -
Would you for country cease to live?
Sinking in a mire of death,
You have no choice -
So while you're still alive,
Rejoice!

I cried in failure - did you care?
And as I waned, were you aware of
What I did -?
Fighting for my country while you hid
Behind your comfort back at home?

Still relaxed?
My wife and child are fading at the tomb.


Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2009 [source]

Thursday, 5 June 2014

And the world is still more bonkers....... [redux][redux]

What is it about people and their dear departed ?..... if it's not a Yogi or a Granny, then why do people not think that any one who is dead perhaps might need burying, rather than be a side show......At least he was wearing his pyjama's.

Turns out that Japan's oldest man might not have been the oldest man at 111 and instead was just an old man when he died at 81 years old....

The family said......
that he had "confined himself in his room more than 30 years ago and became a living Buddha,
The Tokyo Welfare office said.....
"His family must have known he has been dead all these years and acted as if nothing happened. It's so eerie,
Well no shit Sherlock.... you don't say....

This must surely be
the only SoD
for today


On a serious note, this story minds me of two foreign films, the wonderful ..... Departures.... which was the subject of my stone letters post...... at least the families in that film understood the respect of properly dealing with the departed......

And a second movie.... Star Watching Dog...... the story about a welfare officer seeking to discover the story behind the life of man who's body was found in his camper van, along with the body of his star watching dog. It is quite a touching story but very difficult to find a copy on DVD. I watched mine on a plane.... I wouldn't suggest you book a flight to Australia just to watch it, but should you ever get chance, then if you love foreign films you will not regret it......

Right, now where did I leave that body ?....... [and not the body I once found on a bog.... and no it wasn't Elvis....]

Tuesday, 3 June 2014

And the world just gets more bonkers....... [redux]


Honey we're gunna need a bigger Fridge.......

Sweetie when I said fill the fridge with beers..... I didn't mean bears .......this one has got a yogi* in it....

I am not sure how much the  $170 million, is motivating the sect's desire to keep hold of him, but where it is said.... His followers insist that Maharaj is in a state of transcendent bliss called samadhi, a central tenet of traditional yoga in which a yogi becomes one with the universe...... I think what they really mean is....he's dead. I suspect the clue comes from the comment buried [pun intended] in this paragraph........

The sect's website states, "His Holiness Shri Ashutosh Maharaj Ji has been in a deep meditative state (samadhi) since January 29, 2014." Though, a representative from the sect did say on February 3, "About 4:00 PM yesterday, some changes were noticed in his skin (it became greenish). The body was then shifted to a freezer," which may or may not be part of the traditional protocol for transcendent bliss.

But as I reported before I am no doctor, but it could be he's not dead and is merely hanging in there, but should he come round amongst the fish fingers, and frozen peas then he might have some advice for Georgina Chervony Lloren.

Seems Georgina missed the..... I am only meditating classes..... and really is dead...... well that is according to the Metro [and as shown in one of their pictures accompanying the story]...... the family were left in no doubt at her funeral who they were saying good bye to.

I think perhaps when she said she wanted to be buried in her favourite rocking chair, .... ie meaning they stuck her in the ground in it.....and not had the funeral in it ....... but hey what do I know ?.... I thought I was a normal human being....but what is normal any more ?







*[Bear joke: for the old farts amongst you, of course who else but the greatest talking bear ever, aint that right booboo? ...and for those younger than 35 years old you won't have a clue....

Monday, 2 June 2014

what a bonkers world we live in......[updated]

Being the news tart that I am...... my eye could not help but be caught by the odd stories published over the past few days.....

Imagine being the rookie journalist, and filled excitement and ambition and your editor sends you off with note book, dictaphone, camera and with the instructions ringing in yours ears...find the human interest elements to these son....

Your first assignment: Dog pisses on plane.... [see postscript update below]

Well this story certainly top trumps my farts on a plane, but quite how a story like makes it into the  mainstream news I am not so sure, although I suppose dog pisses on a plane is mild compared to this....

I noticed that it was reported the dog was a guide dog for the blind, so one can imagine..... there sat the owner munching his pretzels washed down with a warm American beer, when all of a sudden he detects a warm flow to his trouser leg..... checking he hasn't turned his beer can upside, he continues with his munchies..... with the air hostess tapping him on the shoulder......excuse me sur.... your doog is relievin him self.... could you ask him to stop.... and whilst you're at it sur... could yoooou please stop fartin ......

And so impressed by your first ever published news report, the editor tells you to get on your bike and for your second assignment:

To interview Mr Robert Stewart. Of course what the editor didn't tell you was why Mr Stewart was news worthy, but no sooner do you remove your bike clips and whooooa..... now you know Mr Stewart shall make it to the front page.

And so it is, note book filled and pictures to grace any porn site, you wipe the man mess from your bike seat and head back off to the news room...

For what will be your most challenging assignment todate, assignment 3:

This you admit to yourself, is going to take some beating.

David Truscott, 43, repeatedly rolled around naked in liquid manure, called 'slurry', at a farm he had developed an obsession with in Redruth, Cornwall. 

Developed an obsession.... you don't say...... I think it might be a bit stronger than that surely ? And where I come from they call it shit not slurry....

He initially removed cow pats from Woodbury House Farm but his behaviour escalated so that Truscott regularly entered the farm in search of slurry. 

So it seems he started with the tame stuff, just removing cow pats, but once he had got a taste for it [so as to speak] he immersed him self fully in his obsession.

Prosecuting, Eleanor Purkis revealed that he had previously received a 16-week sentence for stripping naked in the cattle pen, releasing the cattle and climbing into the slurry spreader

I can see a pattern emerging here and I don't think this is what you can call a clean hobby... 

As you listen to Mr Truscott's tale unfold, you start to have doubts about your chosen profession, and you are seriously thinking of a change in career, if not a change in clothing having just interviewed Mr Truscott..... what ever you do, do not do the customary hand shake on departure...

Today's SoD was an easy choice
a repeat listening [but this is the
brilliant acoustic version]
but for sure 
I don't think they would have got it
on iTunes if they had used shit instead of dust
in the name of the song



[Dog pisses on a plane: postscript - It seems that according to other news sources, that Chris Law via twitter was reporting that the dog went the full 10 yards and started shittin all over..... So perhaps the story might have been this.....

There sat the owner munching his pretzels washed down with a warm American beer, when all of a sudden he detects a warm flow to his trouser leg..... checking he hasn't turned his beer can upside, he continues with his munchies..... with the air hostess tapping him on the shoulder......excuse me sur.... your doog is relievin him self.... could you ask him to stop.... and whilst you're at it sur... could yoooou please stop fartin ...... To which the dog owner thinks, jesus christ my farts smell fucking awful I don't remember eating that last night.....

And then I noticed the comment:

Diligent flight attendants on the US-Airways flight from Los Angeles to Philadelphia tried to clear up the mess, but reportedly ran out of paper towels.

‘The second time after the dog pooped they ran out of paper towels, they didn’t have anything else,’ passenger Steve McCall said.


If only Dave Truscott had been on the flight, they could have rolled him down the aisle and hey presto. I seriously think US Airways should get hold of David Truscott, I can see a fantastic win-win situation for both of them