Tuesday 27 May 2014

Which party do you fear.......

... in the past I have described myself as apolitical ...but thinking about it, that must be wrong......

I feel nothing but contempt for our current crop of political leaders we find ourselves stuck with....of course we have the politicians we deserve....but when it's Nick Clugg, Dave Notafuckingclueron or Ed ....erm ....Ed erm...now what's his name ?  erm..... any way that Ed bloke fronting the labour party.... well they are all knobs....

So seeing the trouncing they got from UKip does make you wonder if finally the political establishment of recent years has final got the kick up the arse it needs...and deserves.... and so thinking that, I came to the conclusion that I am not apolitical after all..... I do care about who runs this country.....

Regardless of your stance about UKip the one thing you can say about these results is that it has finally demonstrated that the voting public can actual say to the ruling elect, .......fuck you.... we can vote you out of office.....and if that means using a party with no real substance then we will do it......

It pains me to say it, as I loathe the man for his lies over Iraq, but on radio 4 this morning Tony Blair did raise a valid point....and that was for all the UKip rhetoric and hype.... the reality is they have no answers...... but for this week at least, they have given the conliblab twat party a deserved kick up the arse....and who knows in the Newark by-election it might even extend to a poke in the eye....

Time for a SoD
me thinks
what other could there be ?




god bless you Billy

For a man who can deliver
a song as wonderful as this
why did you go so soon ?




[bowie's was good, but this is gooder still]

And for out and out Bill Mack fans here is
another great bowie cover
[albeit that wild is the wind
was first done by Nina Simone]



[Billy Mack postscript]

since first lodging this post I have been listening to Billy as I work
so here is one of his own offerings
as one commentator says
the dogs bollox










Friday 23 May 2014

Songs to dig graves by... the end is nigh....

... and so to end the week of James... what better than a Hymn from a {suffolk} village....

There is a headstone in the cemetery which has a quote,
I never fail to be moved by it..... 
I even used it in my eulogy for my dad at his funeral.....

To live in the hearts of those we love is not to die



On reflection I should have cleaned the birdshite off it to take this picture, but I have only volunteered to cut and tend the grass, not shovel shit. Also it was only as I was preparing this post today did I notice that after a week of James..... this last picture, is the final resting place of ......James

A good place to make this post
the final resting place
of a week of SoD's from
James.....




[postscript: all of this weeks offerings have been from the same album, the album I chose to select as I fired up the mower last weekend...... but simply because this is a fantastic track.... here is a bonus SoD] 




Thursday 22 May 2014

Songs to dig graves by... get me outta of ere....

Not sure if this fella was a lawn cutter, who lay down, and then found him self entombed, but for sure it looks as if he is trying to make a break for it now.....



Here's today's
SoD
James once more....
as an aside all of this week's
offerings are from the same album
worth every penny of the 5 quid...+51p

Wednesday 21 May 2014

Songs to dig graves by.... on your arse.....

....... so having cut the lawn on one side of the cemetery and then in walks a group of historical ramblers.... not that they were old or owt... but they were interested in the graves and the church and they were wearing ramblers uniform.....

So that they could hear what was being said... and to be fair so I could hear too..... I switched off the mower....

When they went in to the church and as it was a beautiful sunny day, I thought I would have a lie down and listen to the music......



But of course what did occur to me as I lay there, eyes closed, listening to music....was that if the ramblers came back out of the church and saw me lying next to the lawn mower and then think.... oh my god he's dead..... so then I was in a dilemma, carry on listening to the music and then not hear a rambler rushing over and giving me the kiss of life ?.... or jigging around to show I was still moving.... ?

but then on came the next track
and quick as a flash
James gave me the solution

so take my advice if you want
to rest in a grave yard,
don't lie down just......[full volume]





Tuesday 20 May 2014

Songs to dig graves by.... the gentle giant....

... it seems , so I am led to believe, according to the leader of the rambling club who visited the grave yard.... that in the 1800's graves were marked with a head stone...... and a foot stone......

I never knew that before last Saturday. I always thought the little foot stones marked midgets graves...

Looking at this picture, I bet you can't guess which one was the giant.... George was his name, and reportedly 7 foot 7 inches tall..... he even has a house in the village named after him..... The Giant's House....





So here is the giant
where he is laid
marked by the end of his legs
Time for a song me thinks
[and just in time to be
classed as today's SoD]






Monday 19 May 2014

Songs to dig graves by.......

.... well when I say dig graves by...... it is not so much as digging them, and more a case of tending to them, giving the grass a much needed cut.......



One of the joys of living in a Suffolk village is that you can do things like volunteering to tend to the graves, and what it allows you to do, is fire up the mower, put in the head phones, and with the sound of some great music [my choice] you can switch off....and for 2 hours at least be in a world of your own, but hopefully not their [the residents] world just yet.

Friday night waiting for Later with Jools to appear I had flicked over to BBC 2 and caught the tail end of news night..... and there they were, 1 female presenter and 3 female guests all espousing their outrage at Richard Scudamore, and by the end of the article I was truely amazed that Mr Scudmore's gonads were not being served upon a platter [à la that great scene in the film ....The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover]. For the record the news night lynch mob were/are Yalda Hakim [presenting] with Claire Fox, Eniola Aluko, Anna Kessel.... never heard of any of em before Friday night, but to be fair they have probably never heard of me....

Oh how Jeremy Clarkson must be so relieved he is not the only male cocking it up...... to his rescue along came Richard Scudamore....

Quite frankly I can't be arsed to get too excited by what Richard Scudamore did or how crass it was/wasn't {delete as appropriate} but it is amazing the mass hysteria it has created among female commentators...... god help any of them, if they found themselves in the audience of a Roy Chubby Brown show....... blimey.... then they would be outraged .....

Funny though, how it has re-engaged the issue of mens attitude to women.... Take this article, was it written by a man perchance ? I mean would you get an article entitled ....... What REALLY turns men on: Researchers reveal which male body parts are most sensitive (and exactly how to stimulate them). It's the use of the words and exactly how to stimulate them.... as if they are somehow all automatons.... but the truth is, articles about turning women on have been written since men could first think..... one of life's great mysteries, how to turn women on...... but what articles of this nature identify is the arrogance of men-vs-woman....any different from Scudamore's musings ? But if there was ever a need to know how to turn women off.... then I think Mr Scudamore has cornered the market though.....

Perhaps many of the outraged should have watched Kirsty Warks, Blurred Lines, he is probably a men amongst equals.

But clearly it seems that all that we write or say...is now being monitored for the first hint of outrage..... you have been warned......

Listening to Radio Five throughout Sunday whilst fitting gutters [better than being in them I say], and program after program debated in minutiae of detail Mr Scudamore's faux pas.... with vote after vote of should he stay or go ?

This blog is not about Mr Scudamore's right to cause outrage amongst his adoring female fans, nor have I any intentions of seeking to defend his actions..... but there I was walking up down the lawn of our dear departed and thinking all that outrage, all that anger, all that offence...... look down at your feet and what do you see ?

When ever I am on the graveyard shift, I choose what music to listen to, with a view to providing the maximum escape from the madness of the real world, reflected by the vision of the world that awaits us...... this weekend it was James, and so I am choosing a week of James ..... songs to dig graves by.....

And to end today's entry, for all those who love fast cars, an acknowledgment to the great Jack Brabham, who has now left this life.... but oh what a legacy.... and what a great line how he is the only man ever to clinch the F1 title on foot....... given half the chance I would happily mow the law of his resting place.....

So here we go
for today's SoD
the 1st song
to dig graves by








Tuesday 13 May 2014

Talking of all things Picasso.....

........ at times there is something quite surreal about Bjork .....

In my time I have stood on many trucks
but I have never been as excited as Bjork is in this video, 
and not wearing a seatbelt no less

and like Picasso this is pure brilliance...
[Iceland's answer to David Byrne]
but to get the full effect
usual rules apply

full screen 
full volume
and you need to
stand up to listen [flatbed truck optional]








Monday 12 May 2014

It must be the picasso in me.....

Last summer whilst at the national monument of Mount St Helen's I spotted this bear poking it's head up....



I have mentioned before seeing the face of Jesus in my coffee, and then at the weekend I swear I could see the smiling face of Jesus on the back of this Bee.....

  


and then this.... I casually discarded this piece of wood and when I turned and looked at it again.... surely this must be some sort of sign.....




A bare naked lady....... which I agree is missing her head.... but I could always 
be a bit picasso....

I was torn between 2 SoD's so instead.......

you can choose either..... 
or both .... 
if you like ....







Friday 9 May 2014

Ladies who Lycra.....

... just like the men before them a couple of years back, it's now the turn of the ladies of the saddle to pass through our region......in this year's Tour of Britain.





Watching the ladies matching the interest of the men, it is kind of interesting seeing this gender balance compared to some other topical female headline stories....

The obvious one which catches everyone's eyes at the moment, is in Nigeria with more antics of hoodlums under the title of the Boko Haram....

Alas our celebrities and politicians are jumping on the band wagon of holding up their hashtag's, or like the no mark politician on last night's BBC Question time, held up her wrist to show her natty red bracelet..... look at ME every one she said ..... Look how I care for those poor girls..... doesn't that make ME look so good and caring..... fook hell you stupid woman, no it does not ..... [and for the record if it had been a man politician, then that last sentence would been ....... fook hell you stupid man, no it does not......] any way I digress......

How can any one believe a celebrity media hashtag campaign will do anything worthwhile other than draw more unnecessary attention to publicity seeking dicks.......... I am surprised some dickhead has not suggested a crowd funding exercise to send in a crack team of mercenaries....

If you read some of the joe public commentators contributions to the new stories... then maybe they have........ the fab Roy of Cheshire says [and yes he does use capital letters throughout]......... USE A DRONE TO TURN THEM INTO BONE MEAL ....... ASAP....... better still good ole Steve of UK warns them........ that the SAS are coming to get you !...... der don't tell them you idiot.... now they'll be ready...... silly Steve.... nearly as bad as the Dad's Army...... German Officer - what's your name boy....... Cpt Mainwaring - Don't tell him Pike !

Steve........ fancy letting the Boko Haram know that the SAS are on their way......

And that is the stupidity by which this news story has degenerated...... What has happened to those abducted girls is a terrible injustice..... and the Nigerian President Jonathan, is gunna need more than a good luck name to sort this mess...... I hope our policitians don't end up using this naming style.... otherwise we could end up with a Prime Minster..... Notafookingclue Dave.....

Anyway I digress once more, but what is happening in Nigeria is a very complex and difficult issue surrounding terrorism, and not a simplistic view of kidnapping school girls.... when the celebrity hashtagger's say..... bring back our girls..... do they think that the SAS or the Seals are going to rush in, rescue them ala the A Team, and bring them all home on a bus to a hero's welcome..... remember the scenes at the return of the chilean miners ? ........

This not a straight forward hostage taking, like say Entebbe Airport or Munich Olympics or Iraq US Embassy....... what struck me most yesterday was the juxtaposition of 2 headline stories on the BBC news web page...... for the girls abducted in Nigeria it is a tragedy .... but the situation in Nigeria goes way beyond that..... it is about the fundamental principle of good against evil.....


But that is the thing about these 2 headlines, one relates to removing these girls from a dangerous situation and the other...... well the other speaks for it's self...... I am not against the de-gendering of soldiers.... let's face it one of this land's greatest warriors was female..... good old bue-di-ka..... or if you woz taught proper like wot I woz, then her name is boda-see-er.....

So we have the celebrities hashtagging to..... bring back our girls..... and our politician's debating send away our girls....... how does that one work then ?

Quite why the faux celebrities think they are ..... their girls.... is beyond me.... they are no one's girls.... they are their own person..... maybe that is it.... if the girls man up and get some balls, we can send them out to the front line and challenge the Boko Haram...... man-to- ..... ach erm..... woman-to-man....

There was an excellent program on BBC 2 last night, Blurred Lines... presented by the loverly Kirsty Wark ...... [ oh Kirsty.... oh Kirsty ..... shall I compare thee to a Summer's day, thou art more loverly and more.......] ach erm...... where was I ?...... oh yes .....Blurred Lines*, and Kirsty presented a valid debate on whether in the modern world, through the new world order communications and the internet, misogyny is getting worse. The program didn't give too many answers but it did raise some very interesting questions..... personally I don't think misogyny is getting worse .... I think it is just getting easier to spot...... let's face it, is the Nigerian story any different to this ...... ? ....... I doubt it, both are equally repugnant ........

When it boils down to it we are all human..... a fucked up species...... and as for me ? .....do I prefer my ladies in combat fatigues or lycra ? ..... err ...... erm ......err..... 

ladies ! ladies ! 
slow down 
whilst I get my bike clips.....





*[twat alert: there was a great interview in the program where Kirsty "challenged" Rod Lidlle about somethings he had written on line about people....... he said that sometimes..... there were no boundaries, you can't censor your self as a journalist, otherwise ...... you may as well be an insurance loss adjuster...... hey Rod I choose not to censor myself when I say this...... Rod you are a twat......]


Friday 2 May 2014

Belle Du Jour..... shit happens...

How could I have a week of SoD's about ladies names and Constance doesn't get a mention..... so to remedy that here we go.......

Good ole Constance will get plenty of time to surf the net over the next few months and I hope she finds time to stumble upon this blog and appreciate my offering to her.....

As I predicted in February 2013 she was heading into oblivion and so it is, she will now go beyond oblivion and end up as some female lags biatch.....

Constance if you are reading this..... 
I know you are.... 
this is for you baby