Friday 22 January 2016

No matter how hard you try .....

... whether its favourite pop stars, actors, 9 year old boys you've never met .... or even your wife... but cancer is never far away .....

Thursday morning on my way to work and as I cycled past Pam and David's house, I thought ..... not seen Pam and David for a while, I wonder if they have gone to Australia to see their son and grand child .....

Wind the clock back, and it's the turn of the century, and I am a young man not contemplating growing old ...... I am 36 years old on the cusp of my 37th birthday,
2 young children, mortgaged more than I wanted to be and I walked out of a well paid job, working for a blue chip company, ridiculously generous company car allowance, and pension ..... to set up my own company .... That was 16 years + 18 days ago .....

Pam and her sister in law worked with me at the branch office of my former employer, and on my departure they both asked ...... can we come too ? ..... we'd love to give up a well paid secure job with an established and safe as houses company .....

My reply ..... of course you can, and with a bit of luck we might survive a couple of months till the money runs out .....

Fab they replied .... where do we sign ?

And so on 4th January 2000, Pam became one of my first employees ..... I'd never employed anyone till then .... but sure enough on month 3 the money had run out, and I sat with my head in hands thinking shit, how do I pay the staff ? ..... but somehow, the first customer funds started rolling in and we made it through, and 16 years later we are still hanging in there ....

But in the early days, I could never have survived the pressures were it not for the support and efforts of Pam, and not forgetting her sister in law, Jude. Without them both we would have gone under, and my sanity would have longed since departed ...... I owe Pam and Jude a lot, beyond employees they became loyal friends .... and so it came, once the company was on solid foundations and Pam decided it was time to retire and enjoy her time with her husband David, now retired too ..... she had worked with me in total all but around 15 years, in all this time and since, we remained good friends. When my dad died, and shortly thereafter my wife's dark days with cancer, Pam was so kind to me, offering the words not of a former employee, but words of kindness and love .....

Wind the clock forwards, to yesterday - 16 years + 17 days, and Pam's son having traveled back from Australia, and David are sat in my office ...... little did I think not a couple of hours earlier in the day, that James and David would be coming to see me.

As David, was talking to me, he started to cry .... a man in his 70's and someone who I have known for over 20 years, and he said don't mind me I'm being soft ......

He's not soft ...... there is a man who cares ......

This afternoon I walked in to the ward at Ipswich Hospital and the nurse pointed out a lady to me, sitting on her bed ..... I had to go back to the Nurse, and apologetically say .... I've not seen Pam since she got ill, can you just point her out to me again ...

Sure enough, the lady sat on the bed.

To give some context, it was a few months back when I saw Pam, and the best way of describing her, is every time I saw Pam Ferris on the telly, it was like watching my Pam ..... but this lady sat on the bed was not my Pam, this lady was more like an anorexic Twiggy ......

As I walked up to her, her eyes smiled at me, and her loving voice quietly said hello .... were it not for her smiling eyes and familiar voice I would have sworn this was a complete stranger ......

Pam fell ill whilst visiting her son in Australia in the summer, and only got home with the help of Medivac just before christmas ......

They are doing their best to try and build up her strength to give her Chemotherapy ..... I hope she makes it, I owe her a lot ......

I am not a religious man, 
but tonight I will say a prayer for Pam x

Friday 15 January 2016

You don't need to be famous for Cancer to be shit ......

In just over a week, with the demise of Lemmy, Bowie, Alan Rickman, and even Celine Dion's husband, it can easily be thought that only stars succumb to cancer .....

But oh my word, how touching to read the reflections of Damien Mckenna ....

Damien Mckenna ?

Well Damien lost his son to Leukaemia just over a week ago.

Kaden Mckenna was 9 years old and on 1st December 2015 when most kids are getting excited at the prospect of Christmas......... Kaden was diagnosed with Leukemia and in a little under 5 weeks, his short life came to a very abrupt end. He lost his life on 7th January 2015.

The Ipswich Star have fortunately redeemed themselves from the nonsense of cloud pictures, and ran a very touching account of Damien's loss ...... but not forgetting the loss for all his family, Kaden's mum and brother and sisters ....

Even within the depths of his loss, Damien Mckenna has sought to carry on the intent of Kaden to raise funds for addenbrooks hospital.

It is very hard not to be moved by such actions ..... there are no wall to wall news accounts of the life of Kaden, he didn't write any great pop songs [well not as far as I know], politicians and celebs are not recounting how much Kaden
had influenced their lives .....

But by christ when you read Damien's reflections of his son .... you can only sit and see the beauty of his son .....

The Mckenna's are a brave family .... reflected by the bravery of their son ...... 

The last words he spoke to his dad ..... 

I love you ....

Kaden Mckenna


9 Years old ....








Tuesday 12 January 2016

Vacuous clouds over Suffolk ........

...... after the vacuous outpouring nonsense by much of yesterday's media, today Suffolk is suffering from a slow news day ......


It seems amongst the immense grief and total sadness the world felt yesterday after the passing of the near god like Bowie, one Suffolk citizen consoled himself by taking photographs of a teddy bear looking like a cloud .......well according to his wife that is .....

During my days as a ships officer I got me sen a qualification in Meterology, and in my 53 years on this planet I have done a fair amount of cloud watching in my time .... in fact on my iPod  I have a playlist called ..... Cloud Watching ......

Also when I was a young child I had a Teddy bear .... sad thing is I still have him all these years later .... brown teddy he is called ..... simply because he is a brown and he is a teddy......

So in conclusion I think that sort of qualifies me to comment on clouds ..... and Teddy Bears ..... and one thing is for sure ...... this cloud over Suffolk looks nothing like a Teddy Bear ...... but I do agree it does look like a cloud, so the story is at least 50% correct ..... and it definitely is not amazing ...




Seems the Ipswich Star is merely treading water ...... waiting for the next great talent to leave this earth ......

But till then let's once again be reminded of the near god like talent
that was[is] David Bowie ......

Interestingly enough if I were asked to name my one and only all time top musician[s] then it would have to be Paul Buchanan and the Blue Nile .... I have more than once remarked that should the chance present it self, when I pass from this life to the next, it would be listening to the Blue Nile ..... but it is by no accident that David Bowie is the top of the hit parade when it comes to my songs of the day ..... David Bowie (24) -vs- Paul Buchanan (17) .....

They both feature heavily on my series of cancer is shit posts .... because for sure cancer is shit, but thankfully music is not  ..... alas on 4th September 2013, I even suggested that Bowie might well be able to come up with a cure for cancer ...... how wrong was I ..... of course I was wrong ...... on 1st July 2013 tells why I was wrong ......

I was first introduced to David Bowie when I was 8~9 years old .... when I was that old I never cared about cancer ... not even sure I knew what it was then ...... but what I did know .... listening to my elder brothers record collection ...... first it was Hunky Dory, then Ziggy Stardust and next by the time I was 10 years old it was Aladdin Sane .... what I did know at such a tender age ... was I liked the music of David Bowie ...... who would have thought over 40 years later ..... on the eve of his death, he could still look this good .....


Life's a bitch
and then we die.....
 or is it simply just a
Queen Bitch.....


Monday 11 January 2016

Cancer is shit ..... but this really is taking the piss ......



you've gone too far this time ......



I was trying to think what track to offer up this morning....
I mean how do you choose just one track from this man ...

Initially when I looked out of the window
saw the grey skies
dank rain pouring .... I thought of wild is the wind ..

But as I drove into work,
stopped at the traffic lights .... on red
Rain falling on to the screen
with dull grey skies ...

And then as I sat there, this track started up on the radio
maybe not one of his classics.....
but how with the opening beat ...
no longer a dull grey Monday morning .....



and then again, why not wild is the wind .....




Love me, love me, love me, say you do
Let me fly away with you
For my love is like the wind, and wild is the wind
Wild is the wind
Give me more than one caress, satisfy this hungriness
Let the wind blow through your heart
For wild is the wind, wild is the wind

You touch me,
I hear the sound of mandolins
You kiss me
With your kiss my life begins
You're spring to me, all things to me
Don't you know, you're life itself!

Like the leaf clings to the tree,
Oh, my darling, cling to me
For we're like creatures of the wind, and wild is the wind
Wild is the wind

Like the leaf clings to the tree,
Oh, my darling, cling to me
For we're like creatures in the wind, and wild is the wind
Wild is the wind



As long as you're still smiling, There's nothing more I need, I absolutely love you

Monday 4 January 2016

Australian Summer .........

One of the advantages of relatives aboard is you can easily escape the crappy English winter ....

And so my next stop beyond Hong Kong being Perth, Australia. I've not seen my mum for just short of 4 years since my dad died, and I thought perhaps I should fill in some of the gaps.

Not least of which, this is my first time back in Australia, without carrying the burden of grief for my dad. For sure it still hurts and I can still bring forth a tear or two, but this time there is no work to worry about, no immediacy of grief to contend with ...... instead I could just soak in the warm sunshine on my back and escape the miserable winter weather ...... A sort of test run for operation Pompeii ......

And boy what a tonic it is .... but even in our own summer time, I am not sure that taking in a long bike ride, punctuated with sun bathing on the beach ........ could beat this day on Yanchep beach .......


It was not all joy and pleasure ..... there was a huge disappointment ...... one of my favourite buildings in the whole wide world is the Swan Bells .....

The Swan Bells divided opinion amongst Perthians when it was built, but I have never failed to be beguiled by it every time I catch sight......


This was the view during my last visit in 2012

So once I had picked up the bike, I thought I'd ride around the corner, park me arse on the green, have a gander at Swan Bells, whilst I re-arranged me lycra ........ only to be greeted with this view

wtf has happened here !!


Somebody has knicked the effin grass and put the Swan Bell in prison !!!

I was gutted to see that the green space in front of the Swan Bells has been dug up in line for a new building complex.... for which it seems is now being delayed somewhat indefinitely ......

So whether you like it or not, change will come about, and it will come where you least expect it ......

But for now at least my
SoD's can still be relied upon

I may be having an Australian Summer
and it seems that the 
Stereophonics have written a song 
to celebrate the occasion .....



{cheers kelly ..... much appreciated mate...}