And to finish the week.... now these two.... these....

.... were proper dancers .....

Fred and Ginger ..... who else....

Dancing can even be seen on the back of a ...........

Truck ......

and she never misses a beat .......

Don't know if this is actually dancing ......

 .... but this is a truely unexpected moment from the movie .....

Mauvais Sang ........

If you love French movies...... 

If you love Juliette Binoche .....

oh Juliette ..... oh Juliette .... wherefore art thou Juliette

doth thee love me like I love thee ? ....

ach erm ..... if you love French art house movies

then you should give it a whirl .....

here is the scene with it's slow burn and then totally unexpected twist....

More dancing from another bloke who may not be .......

one of the great dancers......

but hey......

is Thom not just so captivating ......

It's dancing week........

This video has been used for more than 1 track....

but hey Christopher Walken may not be the best dancer .......

but he sure is a Dandy ........

How about a poem of the day.......

The Cloths of heaven

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
 

The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
 

I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
 

I have spread my dreams under your feet..........

Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

When I read this I was reminded of a great quote about dreams....

it was by Lawrence of Arabia....

.... it goes like this..

All men dream: but not equally. 

Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds 

wake in the day to find that it was vanity,

but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, 

for they may act their dreams with open eyes, 
to make it possible. 

{Courtesy of W B Yeats... and T E Lawrence}

Some day we will all be spirits in the sky ......

 but till then....

Let's all lie down in grandma's garden and pretend to be carrots.......
 

{Courtesy of RyanDome}

Today is Ooga Chaka day.......

{courtesy of Reservoir Dogs}

Back to more talking [writing] Bollux......

effectively ...... that's what blogging is ....... talking bollux....

The truth is, we live in our own universe and each one of us is at the epicenter of our own universe..... we assume that other people see the world in the way you do....... but of course they can't...... they are looking at it from a different direction to you.....

Quiet frankly I have no idea who reads this shit that I write.... in fact I am not even sure anyone actually reads it.... for all I know I am writing to an empty room, and yet there are 7 billion people standing in the next room....

We used to read the newspapers for ....well....news.... to tell us things about the world we wouldn't have otherwise known about. And with that news, we accepted the opinions that came with it.....

But in reality, we now don't need newspapers in the conventional sense ....... we have the internet... and as for opinions we have bloggers..... those of whom we agree with, we read and those we don't .... we exude the word..... bollux..... and then don't bother to read/click again.

Of course we now have those professional bloggers, who skilfully pretend to be innocent Joe and instead they are just trying to flog blog us more crap products / opinions {delete as appropriate} that we don't need but we somehow feel compelled to buy / buy into {delete as appropriate}.........

It is interesting how, when you do click on various blogs and they seemed to have stopped all of a sudden.... no more entries.... I have seen this many times, especially with ones I like.... I have often wondered what caused them to stop blogging...... for sure in one case it was because the cycling blogger died..... he blogged on the Friday how he was planning for a weekend race, even showing off his new team cycling shirt, and that weekend in the race, he collided with a car and he passed from this life to the other never to Blog again ..... Ride with the Heff

How poignant that he should end that last post with the words:

'll leave you with a sneak preview of my new kit, and follow up with some (hopefully) good news after the weekend!

I suppose it must be the same with twitter...... one minute you are twittering and then wallop..... after that nothing but silence.... never to be heard read again.........

In fairness, those at Facebook have rolled out a feature for users when they die so at least you can keeping posting on Facebook after you leave this life .......... assuming that Facebook is your preferred method of talking bollux....

On the plane to Istanbul I did read The Times newspaper and there was an obituary for Peter Underwood, who for his whole life tried to prove the existence of ghosts..... I do question where the headline says he is an expert in haunting and paranormal......he had a long life but he never proved the existence of ghosts so that must mean he failed..... so how come that makes him an expert [see even the The Times can talk bollux].............

but imagine as he reached the after life...... 

Spirits in the afterworld: Welcome to the spirit world. Peter there's good news ...... ghosts really do exist.... look here we are...... but there's bad news

Peter Underwood: What's the bad news ?

Spirits in the afterworld: We haven't a fooking clue how to contact the living 

 Peter Underwood: Shite...... have you thought about blogging ?.... wait hang on...... have any of you got a facebook account ?

Still I did find one thing out from the The Times that perhaps I couldn't have learnt from the internet...... the difference between dog and fox trots.....

Thank the lord for Lindsay who understands the need and important role that letters to The Times plays in society.........

...... most likely more important than blogging.... which when all said and done is merely talking bollux..... well in my case it is.....

Still, Peter Underwood if you are reading this..... send me sign.... let me know.... is there anybody out there ? .......shit what was that ? is that you Peter ?

I talk bollux.... and really all in all..... what I am doing by blogging is hearing myself think out loud..... no more than a conversation with someone..... you are each hearing yourselves think out aloud.....

But if this blog should stop suddenly, then it could be that I have joined the next life [and I don't have facebook to write with] ......or it could be as simple as getting bored of my own voice thoughts..... of course, even if I don't post any more bollux, I can at least still post some great SoD's, [that's assuming I haven't died....... in which case you will have to make do with the SoD's thus far posted] ......... but as always the same caveat.....

Any SoD I do post..... 

is a great SoD in my head.... 

what's in my head is my SoD's 

in your head you may have your own SoD's.....

As I sit here writing up the bollux report 

covering my Istanbul assignment,

here is one of the many great tracks

that I have been listening to....

what better choice

than a brand new start

{Should have done that 5 years ago, instead of writing this self indulgent bollux... 
hey oh just another one of life's mistakes}

This is not bollux... this is hazy cosmic jive....

Good job there is a starman 

waiting in the sky......

Maggie will need him to 

help her make a martian

this yet another fantastic track from 1972.... 1972.... I mean like 43 years ago

I am from 1963... I look in the mirror....
I look knackered

This song from 1972
in the head phones....

is still as brilliant as the day it
was first cut to vinyl....

More BBC Bollux.....

... This morning driving into work, I was listening to the BBC today news and they were interviewing the British Candidate trying to be accepted on the dutch mission to put the first humans on Mars.....

What a complete load of bollux.....

Don't get me wrong I love the joy of space travel.... I loved even more the crackle of space dust when you put a whole bag full in ya gob.....

As a 6 year old child being dragged out of my bed at some ungodly hour, sitting in front of a 2 bar electric fire [we were not posh we didn't have central heating in 1969, although we did have an indoor bog, so I suppose that damn near made us working class], but anyway sitting there watching a grainy black and white image on a .... of all things.... a black and white telly...... and finally man first stepped on to the surface of the moon....

It was an incredible thing, I was mesmerised, and I suppose I see that as a monumental moment in mankind..... someone was actually overheard saying..... that it was in fact a giant leap for mankind.......

But since 1969, I have grown older and more cynical.... and so too has the world upon which gravity has firmly affixed me to.

So no matter how many times I hear bullshitters talk about man landing on Mars, I just can't get excited by the prospect.... but effin hell the BBC sure can....

And so it was this morning they were interviewing..... Maggie Lieu.   By all accounts it seems like she is a very bright girl, doing a PhD in astronomy and space, so no slouch in the brian dept, but this morning, her brian must have still been parked in sleep mode...... I have never listened to such a load of utter crap.... and someone has brainwashed this poor girl in to believing the crap she was spouting this morning......

Unfortunately there isn't a link to the actual radio interview unless you want to listen to the whole of this morning's today program on the iPlayer but this exert is a good sample of the conversation....

What if the internet breaks?
"That would be horrible.
"I won't be able to contact home or have any communications with earth, but hopefully we'd be able to repair it because we'll be trained up in every skill we need.
"We'll be trained electricians, doctors, plumbers, anything we need on earth."

What if the internet breaks ? the fooking internet on Mars ? I can't even get a decent broadband speed beyond 1MB from my village in Suffolk and they are talking about wasting a shit load of money getting facebook and twitter to stream on mars... for christ's sake.....

Although...... listening to the interview this morning it did remind me of that famous interview with Laika on 2nd November 1957. For those of you who don't recall Laika, she was the first dog into space.

Here's how the interview went, but as she was a Russian dog you will have to put on a fake russian accent when you read it..... come on we've all done it comrade.....

Interviewer: Laika, you are launching into space tomorrow

Interviewer: Laika, why on earth (ha) wouldn't you be able to come back?

Laika : Woof, woof, woof,

Interviewer: Wouldn't you miss your family and friends?

Laika : Woof, woof, wooooooof,

Interviewer: What do they make of it all?

Laika : Woof, woof

Interviewer: Do you feel guilty?

Laika : Woof, 

Interviewer: Do you want to have a puppies up there?

Laika : Woof,

Interviewer: What are the biggest risks?

Laika : Woof, woof, woof,

Interviewer: What would you live in, what would you wear, how would you keep clean?

Laika : Woof, woof, woof,

Interviewer: What if you get a mega craving for a pack of bonio's when you're there?

Laika : Woof,

Interviewer: Laika..... have you just pissed up my leg ?

Unfortunately we did not get chance to hear how wonderful the experience in space was for Laika..... she died before returning to earth ....... are you reading this Maggie ?? ....... but 1969 was a good time for space adventure.... I mean how else would we have ended up with fantastic images like this.....

A few years back I once saw the space shuttle take off from Cape Canaveral live.... it was without doubt one of the most amazing things I have seen and felt in my life.... and yes you really do feel it...

But in 2015, I think we have more important issues to contend with than trying to put someone on Mars to die .... issues closer to home.... in my case very close.....

In 1969 as a 6 year old boy I was watching man land on the moon, 2 years later I was listening to today's SoD..... little did I realise that when I first heard this album in 1971, some 44 years later on 15th February 2015 and again on 17th Feb,  I would be listening to it once again, and thinking .... this is a brilliant album..... If Hunky Dory is not in your CD collection... then you are no reader of mine.....

David....

It's time for take off....

Is there life on ......

Maggie Lieu has mousy hair ......

Turkish Delight.......

Where it was that......Luton witnessed my trousers falling down, this time I was taking no chances…… Gatwick would not witness my lingerie….. I was keeping my belt on until I reached the security barrier at departures….

This time on the bus from parking to airport, I kept my trousers on….

Where ya off to mate ? enquired the friendly bus driver…no doubt relieved to see my britches were not falling down….

Istanbul ….

For a holiday ?

No, business ….

Oh that must be interesting….

I said nothing…. My only thought was…..

Daniel Craig as James Bond in Istanbul in the film  Skyfall………. now that really was a fooking interesting business trip to Istanbul….

Alas I am no James Bond..... and I am sure as hell not Daniel Craig either…..

But I suppose that going to work in Istanbul as opposed to say Guildford for a meeting can be seen as interesting to some …..

Once again I missed Guildford although I did fly over it…..

 .....not sure if that counts…..

 But on my arrival in Istanbul, I was greeted with a familiar arrivals hall......

 

I did think that one airport looks like another… I wonder if every time they build a new airport anywhere in the world……. they google the word ….. airport …….and look at the image index……. See this and think……

 Ta dah !...... this is what we will make the airport look like…..

But on leaving the metro train system on the journey from the airport and seeing the hustle and bustle...... it was a very appealing entry into Istanbul life…
I can recommend the public transport... I could have taken a taxi..... but that seemed far too insular.....

What I was not expecting when I looked out the window of the honeymoon suite on the 12^th floor of the Hilton Hotel, was a typical English scene…… snow !

In fact this winter we have had no snow in the outer reaches of Suffolk, and yet within a day of getting to Istanbul, I wake up to bluddy snow…..

 Whilst I wasn’t expecting snow in Istanbul......I was aligned to the risk of delhi belly, although this form of montezuma's revenge should really be the Turkey trots, and when I went to the pisser it seems they shared my concern…… that’s an awful lot of bog roll to get through in one shitting sitting .…. But this is Istanbul…..

 

Then I looked down at the bog…. And thought Christ what the hell is that pipe sticking out of the back of the bowl...….. I’m not risking sitting down and that thing firing up me arse……. The only answer was to dose up on as much Imodium as is packed..... and wait till I get home….

But all in all it has been a very pleasant first trip to Istanbul, my hosts were wonderful with their hospitality and I suppose there are some boring places I could have to go to work to instead…… Istanbul is not one of them....

.......interesting though... in that I was writing the other day about internet scamming…… and here I am at work in Istanbul investigating an internet scam……. involving of all things Microsoft Computers….. and only in the last week or so there was the Microsoft IT [as it was claimed] Tech Support trying to scam me….. in an internet scam.....

All in  a days work I suppose……….

And a great excuse to play a [some] track[s] from a sublime band…… having had the joy of seeing them live in Dublin…. They are just as brilliant recorded….. and what more track can there be but……

Hotel ……..

And...... 
as they are so wonderful here is a couple of bonus tracks…… 
One of my all time faves is Jesus is a Rochdale girl….. 
but instead this is equally endearing…….
a song about missing someone....

miss them during the day....
 because the night will always win...

And for the last track...... I nearly chose Starlings recorded with the BBC Concert orchestra, and it is an amazing song [in my head it is amazing] but this particular rendition….. it seems a touch over engineered..... which then slightly kills the beauty of the song….. the orchestra seem to want to be the focus of attention and have too many smug grins on their faces…… knobs....... the song is not about them…. it’s about the song….

So instead I chose this one for the last track, a previous SoD…. Now this song is engineered to pure perfection…. This is a youtube song, that you can watch a 1,000 times and a 1,000 times you will see something different, but what will always remain the same...... is the perfection of it…. 

At the end…. 

Guy Garvey looks across ….. a wry grin…… 

he get’s it like I get it……

 

Happy Birthday Bob.......

..... frankly I could have chosen any one of a 100 songs for my SoD for today....

but for a man who 

left this life far too early.....

Bob, thank you for some 

brilliant songs

Today

this day

your birthday

I choose this one.....

what more brilliant music would he have given us had he lived a full life ?

We shall never know, but for anyone who loves music for the
inner pleasure that music gives....

..... then we have songs like this.....

I haven't got a FU button on my keyboard........but I have got a taser button on my phone......

Fraudsters think they are clever..... but the truth is they can be dumbfookwankers at times....

There I am sat at work.....

brrrrng.....  brrrng...... brrrrrng.....

Me [intended victim] : Hello good morning, how may I help you ?....

Dumbfookwanker [intended scammer] : Good morning sir, this is Microsoft Tech support

Me [no intention of being a victim] : Oh, what do you want  ? .....

Dumbfookwanker [not bright enough to be a scammer] : You have a problem with your computer sir....

Me [by this point it is clear, I am far from being a victim] : oh no that's terrible.... but what do you mean there is a problem with my computer ?....

Dumbfookwanker [by this point it is clear, that he is far from becoming a scammer]: We have detected a series of problems and virus on your computer.....

Me [ you get the idea]: ..... oh no that is terrible but how do you know ?

Dumbfookwanker [you get the idea] :  we have been monitoring your computer and it's systems have warned us that we need to help you to get these issues resolved......

Me : oh no that's terrible... what do I need to do ?

Dumbfookwanker: Please go to your computer sir

Me: It's in front of me

Dumbfookwanker: Good..... can you look at your keyboard....

Me : Yes I am looking at it ..... {seriously this is how the conversation went}

Dumbfookwanker: Look down at the left hand side and there is CTL button.....

Me: Nooooooo I can't see it .....

Dumbfookwanker: FU ......

Me : FU ?

Dumbfookwanker: Yes FU....

Me: Nooooooo I can't see a FU button on my keyboard.....

Dumbfookwanker:  Fuuuuuuuck yooooou ...... {I don't think he realised it, but pedantically, he should have said to me FY not FU......}

The call didn't last much longer..... but had it done so, then the next thing I would have said..... errr my computer has the words ....... MacBook Air ..... printed on the screen surround...... what does that mean ?

But what is worrying, is that with 7 Billion people on the planet and every day a greater and greater percentage of those people on a computer, on line, and next to a phone..... these scammers can and do find enough gullible people to make this fraud work ........

I love my mother dearly...... but I know that she is one of those at risk...... If only she had decided to buy an Apple Mac.....

During the call, I did think...... I wish my phone had a button marked Taser..... so I could have sent 50,000 volts through the head set of the twat at the other end of the phone...... [who knows he might have been thinking that about me, by the end of the call]...... but between the two us there was only one fake....

So for my Friday SoD

this is dedicated to the

Dumbfookwanker

who as I type this is on to 

his next smartarse victim......

thinking about it.....

to the intended scammer....

FUY2....

I'm having 3SoD's 2day

I'm tired of this ..... insomnia....

.... it's not a permanent affliction, but when it takes hold... it drives me nuts ....

For a man who during his time on an oil tanker at sea, once slept through it being hit by a lighting strike..... generally speaking..... sleeping is not normally a problem for me ...... thinking about that ship as I prepared this post in my head.... it's amazing the wonder of google.... here is a picture of that self same ship [sans lightening strike]...... many a time as a young man [before growing old...] did I run around the deck of that ship..... see that red chimney pot at the stern, above the accommodation ? I once painted that.... not all by my self..... but i did paint it.......

but there are times and this is one of them, when insomnia is my new best worst friend ....we become inseparable....

The latest bout is down to the arsehole of the building trade.... yes all of it.... every last nail and screw..... whom are insistent in making my home building project seem like trying to train monkeys how to split the atom....... only 1 week after they have just learned how to mash a pot of tea..... [funny how monkeys no longer make us smile over a pot of tea].....  

you hum it son I'll play it.... that line still kills me now....

So my advice to anyone wanting to avoid insomnia.... do not .... I repeat for effect.... do not ... start a building project that is any more complex than laying a few patio bricks....[or mashing a pot of tea..... builders are good at that....]

One of the tricks I try to use, to curb my insomnia is a CD by Paul Mckenna  and it is quite effective, although I always smile at the start where he says.... do not listen to this audio program whilst driving or operating machinery ..... I Can Make You Sleep..... driving at the same time.... err err emmm.... maybe ? maybe not..... ?.... maybe ?..... maybe not.....

Still there is an upside to insomnia, I get to listen to some great music [well in my head at least it's great] and read loads of shit on the internet ....... seeing as it is building works keeping me awake at night it seemed appropriate that my music ended up with Red House Painters... but more of them later....

The sage advice for sleep [or the inability to get enough of it] is not to stimulate the brain, have a warm bath and drink hot chocolate.... Hey oh..... I prefer my options...... you might go to work the next day feeling knackered but at least you have loads of tunes in your head with vast sums of worthless knowledge...

The other upside is you also have more time to do stuff...... for my last trip to France I had to be out the house at 3am to head out to the airport..... so as I had shit loads to do on the build.... instead of going to bed..... not to sleep .....I didn't go to bed at all...... I worked on the build till half past midnight, came in showered up, had me tea, packed me work stuff and hey presto I was out the door at 3am and no risk of missing the alarm clock by over sleeping.....

When I don't have to be at the airport at stupid am, during the hours of sleeplessness I lie in bed and in the dark, headphones in, eyes closed listen to some fab tracks, quiet reflective tracks but at 2:30 am with no sleep in sight, the intensity of these songs in the dark with head phones is so different to perhaps say.... listening to a song on the radio in the car maybe.....

Here's a snippet of my play list [noting that most have already appeared as my SoD at sometime or other......]

Damien Jurado - Mettalic Cloud [album version] ~ Silver Katherine....... these 2 songs are just fantastic.... his voice in the dark, eyes closed [mine not his] ...... almost perfect I would say.... but hey that's just my opinion and remember this is merely the shit that's in my head.... the shit in your head is your shit not my shit..... my shit is exclusive.... to me....

Then there is Damien J and Moby with Almost home ~ an enchanting song.....

Moby ~ Last day..... great video....watching the video is cheating I know...seeing as me eyes are supposed to be closed... but I was curious....well worth the curiosity.....

James ~ Just like Fred Astaire.... this song every time.... never fails..... killer line..... I believe she fell to earth ..... From somewhere high above....

Newton Faulkner ~ If this is it ..... not really the theme tune for an insomniac....

Dido ~ White flag.... what ever happened to her  ? 

Paul Buchanan ~ Toledo [acoustic version] ~ he's my Elvis

David Bowie ~ Always crashing in the same car ...... oh I do hope he wasn't listening to a Paul Mckenna CD......

I am kloot ~ I still do & Not a reasonable man.... 2 recent SoD outings of mine.....

Damien Jurado ~ I am still here and..... What were the chances..... one thing for sure... DJ is not what you would class as soporific.....

Then I started to hedge towards the Red House Painters.....

It went via ..... Susie Suh ..... Love is the way & Won't you come again.... never heard her before.... but not too bad.... let's say I didn't kick her out of bed...... musically I mean....

Then on to Sun Kil Moon with Lucky man and You are my Sun. Sun Kil Moon is the incarnation that Red House Painters morphed into..... I've not listened to the Red House Painters for a very long time..... but they had a prolific output.....I was introduced to them via Vanilla Sky...... oh Penny Oh Penny forget Tom..... he's bad for you.... pick me ! pick me !.... I love ya Honey..... you're my wild Honey.....

Anyways I started with ~ Have You Forgotten ? {the song from Vanilla Sky}..... ~  All mixed up then on to ...... Moments  ......then they wanted to ... Take me out...with Dragon Flies ~ and a few tracks later I ended up with today's SoD.....

A fantastic cover version of

a John Denver song.....

for me say's alot.... 

perhaps the things I wish I could have said.....

All this thought of insomnia is making me feeling sleepy..... I think I'll go for a lie down.....

[Insomnia Postscript: I did think that the natural song of the day for this post is ..... Faithless ~ Insomnia but for those of you familiar with this song and Faithless in general.... will know it is not a get you to sleep song...... In fact having gone to see them in their last ever concert at Brixton Academy on 8th April 2011, that's exactly what happened..... Maxi Jazz {what a fantastic live act} damn near lifted the roof off the Brixton Academy that night, and didn't leave the stage until gone 1 am..... so the chances of getting public transport across London to Liverpool St Station, and then a train back to Shenfield was impossible, so it meant an all nighter at Cafe's and railway station platforms until the first mail train back to Shenfield and finally arriving back home just after dawn..... sleepless..... but if you have ever seen Faithless live... you will know just how good a night of insomnia can truely be......]