.... before the harmonisation of our european cross border duty and taxation joys, we would look forward with some excitement towards the visit at duty free at the airport. The prospect of cheap fags, booze and goodies.
If a trip was planned we'd save our purchase till we reached duty free. My wife still does it now....next time you are at the airport can you pick me up some estee lauder lipstick/face cream/bum rub {delete as appropriate}.
But the reality is, there isn't really such a thing as duty free at airports any more...... with the boredom of more air travel looming, I wandered round the delights of London City Airport, and checked out the price of one of my favourite tipples...... Cardhu 12 yr old malt.
On the high street it's available at £31.45 inc VAT ......whereas in Duty Not Free, my Cardhu would cost me a whopping......
If a trip was planned we'd save our purchase till we reached duty free. My wife still does it now....next time you are at the airport can you pick me up some estee lauder lipstick/face cream/bum rub {delete as appropriate}.
But the reality is, there isn't really such a thing as duty free at airports any more...... with the boredom of more air travel looming, I wandered round the delights of London City Airport, and checked out the price of one of my favourite tipples...... Cardhu 12 yr old malt.
On the high street it's available at £31.45 inc VAT ......whereas in Duty Not Free, my Cardhu would cost me a whopping......
£44.99 if I keep it in the EU and £40.99 if I take it out of the EU....
well that's a bargain then.... nothing to do with the ban on liquids of 101ml or more being taken into the airport in hand luggage I would think.
So not only is it not Duty Free, it's not even bloody VAT Free..... I wonder why in these day's of smart phones, so many people buy goods at duty free thinking they are getting a bargain and yet if they checked their smart phones before handing over their credit card and boarding card they might see that perhaps they are simply buying Duty Not Free.
Talking of boarding cards, I brought a packet of fruit pastilles and a bottle of coke from W H Smith at the airport...... at the till there was a big sign saying have your boarding card ready...... my bloody boarding card ready ?..... just to buy fruit pastilles ?? ....... me being the belligerent traveller I am, queried the till assistant why she needed my boarding card when she requested it from me.....[despite the sign I had not volunteered it] ......
she said so we can track your purchasing habits sir...... do I have to show my boarding card ?...... I asked in a sneering tone.... no.... she said...... I gave her cash instead.... it worked..... I walked out of the shop with my fruit pastilles and coke and W H Smith have no way of knowing it was me what brought them. Why do these friggin retailers think they are the FBI and should track our every movement ? Of course it was not the assistants fault, she was merely following orders. I did say to her....and not in a sneering way.... that I respected it was not her fault as I handed over cash sans boarding card.
Talking of coke it turns out that at Frankfurt airport, coke is more expensive than beer......
The coke was €uro 3.30...... I choose the coke
Talking of Frankfurt airport...... the things you see at an airport...... I saw this......
My immediate thought on seeing it was....... that is going to be a complete bugger to fit in the overhead locker...... no way I thought.....
Talking of things you see at an airport..... on my way home from Frankfurt... I then spotted this......
Thinking about it, they must be quite difficult to light..... and also they are quite big, I can't imagine you could smoke a whole one on your own...... I wonder if [once you've finally got it lit] you have a drag then pass it round.....bit like a shisha pipe ?.....
but when it comes to lighting it, you'd have to make sure you lit the right end....light the wrong end and it adds a whole new meaning to the phrase......christ, this tastes like smoking camel shit !
Talking of smoking I also saw this at London City Airport.......
Now as it happens I am not a smoker, but if I were I'd be looking at these and thinking......erm err erm mmmmm...... I best have the ones on the left, they are only going to seriously harm me, whereas the ones on the right are going to kill me ! I think that would be an easy choice.
They are both Monte Cristo brands, so they must have like two separate production lines, one for the cigars that will kill you and the another one, where they don't fill the cigars with as much toxins so they only seriously harm you rather than actually kill you.
Imagine at the factory....... err Bert I see you are on the killer production line today...... yes arry I thought it would be more exciting on this production line...... what do they put in these cigars to kill people anyway ? ....... dunno Bert.... I heard a rumour it was camel shit...... ere arry fancy going out for a smoko ? ......sure Bert...shall we have one of your killer cigars or one of my harm you cigars ?...... err err err I think we'll have one of my killer cigars arry....bin a tough day today I could murder a cigar.
Air travel is quite boring really.... causes the brain to think lots of shit...... my brain thought lots of shit yesterday..... but as always, my way of helping switch off, is through music.
So wandering around airports/going through security/boarding planes I plug in my Sennheiser IE6 and create my sound track moments. I always have the same playlist for airport travel and there is always something quite paradoxical watching these people meandering/being herded around like cattle whilst listening to some great tracks.
Here is my Friday selection of the highlights.........
