... This morning driving into work, I was listening to the BBC today news and they were interviewing the British Candidate trying to be accepted on the dutch mission to put the first humans on Mars.....
What a complete load of bollux.....
Don't get me wrong I love the joy of space travel.... I loved even more the crackle of space dust when you put a whole bag full in ya gob.....
As a 6 year old child being dragged out of my bed at some ungodly hour, sitting in front of a 2 bar electric fire [we were not posh we didn't have central heating in 1969, although we did have an indoor bog, so I suppose that damn near made us working class], but anyway sitting there watching a grainy black and white image on a .... of all things.... a black and white telly...... and finally man first stepped on to the surface of the moon....
It was an incredible thing, I was mesmerised, and I suppose I see that as a monumental moment in mankind..... someone was actually overheard saying..... that it was in fact a giant leap for mankind.......
But since 1969, I have grown older and more cynical.... and so too has the world upon which gravity has firmly affixed me to.
So no matter how many times I hear bullshitters talk about man landing on Mars, I just can't get excited by the prospect.... but effin hell the BBC sure can....
And so it was this morning they were interviewing..... Maggie Lieu. By all accounts it seems like she is a very bright girl, doing a PhD in astronomy and space, so no slouch in the brian dept, but this morning, her brian must have still been parked in sleep mode...... I have never listened to such a load of utter crap.... and someone has brainwashed this poor girl in to believing the crap she was spouting this morning......
Unfortunately there isn't a link to the actual radio interview unless you want to listen to the whole of this morning's today program on the iPlayer but this exert is a good sample of the conversation....
Although...... listening to the interview this morning it did remind me of that famous interview with Laika on 2nd November 1957. For those of you who don't recall Laika, she was the first dog into space.
Here's how the interview went, but as she was a Russian dog you will have to put on a fake russian accent when you read it..... come on we've all done it comrade.....
Interviewer: Laika, you are launching into space tomorrow
Interviewer: Laika, why on earth (ha) wouldn't you be able to come back?
Laika : Woof, woof, woof,
Interviewer: Wouldn't you miss your family and friends?
Laika : Woof, woof, wooooooof,
Interviewer: What do they make of it all?
Laika : Woof, woof
Interviewer: Do you feel guilty?
Laika : Woof,
Interviewer: Do you want to have a puppies up there?
Laika : Woof,
Interviewer: What are the biggest risks?
Laika : Woof, woof, woof,
Interviewer: What would you live in, what would you wear, how would you keep clean?
Laika : Woof, woof, woof,
Interviewer: What if you get a mega craving for a pack of bonio's when you're there?
Laika : Woof,
Interviewer: Laika..... have you just pissed up my leg ?
Unfortunately we did not get chance to hear how wonderful the experience in space was for Laika..... she died before returning to earth ....... are you reading this Maggie ?? ....... but 1969 was a good time for space adventure.... I mean how else would we have ended up with fantastic images like this.....
But in 2015, I think we have more important issues to contend with than trying to put someone on Mars to die .... issues closer to home.... in my case very close.....
In 1969 as a 6 year old boy I was watching man land on the moon, 2 years later I was listening to today's SoD..... little did I realise that when I first heard this album in 1971, some 44 years later on 15th February 2015 and again on 17th Feb, I would be listening to it once again, and thinking .... this is a brilliant album..... If Hunky Dory is not in your CD collection... then you are no reader of mine.....
What a complete load of bollux.....
Don't get me wrong I love the joy of space travel.... I loved even more the crackle of space dust when you put a whole bag full in ya gob.....
As a 6 year old child being dragged out of my bed at some ungodly hour, sitting in front of a 2 bar electric fire [we were not posh we didn't have central heating in 1969, although we did have an indoor bog, so I suppose that damn near made us working class], but anyway sitting there watching a grainy black and white image on a .... of all things.... a black and white telly...... and finally man first stepped on to the surface of the moon....
It was an incredible thing, I was mesmerised, and I suppose I see that as a monumental moment in mankind..... someone was actually overheard saying..... that it was in fact a giant leap for mankind.......
But since 1969, I have grown older and more cynical.... and so too has the world upon which gravity has firmly affixed me to.
So no matter how many times I hear bullshitters talk about man landing on Mars, I just can't get excited by the prospect.... but effin hell the BBC sure can....
And so it was this morning they were interviewing..... Maggie Lieu. By all accounts it seems like she is a very bright girl, doing a PhD in astronomy and space, so no slouch in the brian dept, but this morning, her brian must have still been parked in sleep mode...... I have never listened to such a load of utter crap.... and someone has brainwashed this poor girl in to believing the crap she was spouting this morning......
Unfortunately there isn't a link to the actual radio interview unless you want to listen to the whole of this morning's today program on the iPlayer but this exert is a good sample of the conversation....
What if the internet breaks?What if the internet breaks ? the fooking internet on Mars ? I can't even get a decent broadband speed beyond 1MB from my village in Suffolk and they are talking about wasting a shit load of money getting facebook and twitter to stream on mars... for christ's sake.....
"That would be horrible.
"I won't be able to contact home or have any communications with earth, but hopefully we'd be able to repair it because we'll be trained up in every skill we need.
"We'll be trained electricians, doctors, plumbers, anything we need on earth."
Although...... listening to the interview this morning it did remind me of that famous interview with Laika on 2nd November 1957. For those of you who don't recall Laika, she was the first dog into space.
Here's how the interview went, but as she was a Russian dog you will have to put on a fake russian accent when you read it..... come on we've all done it comrade.....
Interviewer: Laika, you are launching into space tomorrow
Interviewer: Laika, why on earth (ha) wouldn't you be able to come back?
Laika : Woof, woof, woof,
Interviewer: Wouldn't you miss your family and friends?
Laika : Woof, woof, wooooooof,
Interviewer: What do they make of it all?
Laika : Woof, woof
Interviewer: Do you feel guilty?
Laika : Woof,
Interviewer: Do you want to have a puppies up there?
Laika : Woof,
Interviewer: What are the biggest risks?
Laika : Woof, woof, woof,
Interviewer: What would you live in, what would you wear, how would you keep clean?
Laika : Woof, woof, woof,
Interviewer: What if you get a mega craving for a pack of bonio's when you're there?
Laika : Woof,
Interviewer: Laika..... have you just pissed up my leg ?
Unfortunately we did not get chance to hear how wonderful the experience in space was for Laika..... she died before returning to earth ....... are you reading this Maggie ?? ....... but 1969 was a good time for space adventure.... I mean how else would we have ended up with fantastic images like this.....
A few years back I once saw the space shuttle take off from Cape Canaveral live.... it was without doubt one of the most amazing things I have seen and felt in my life.... and yes you really do feel it...
In 1969 as a 6 year old boy I was watching man land on the moon, 2 years later I was listening to today's SoD..... little did I realise that when I first heard this album in 1971, some 44 years later on 15th February 2015 and again on 17th Feb, I would be listening to it once again, and thinking .... this is a brilliant album..... If Hunky Dory is not in your CD collection... then you are no reader of mine.....
David....
It's time for take off....
Is there life on ......
Maggie Lieu has mousy hair ......
