Friday, 19 September 2014

Grammar can be quite important I suppose.....[postscript]

... I never really see myself as a skilled wordsmith..... my tiping is shut.... my spilling is rubesh and I reelly mist learn to porff read much butter..... but there are times when it is important to get the right words perfect.....

Imagine a woman had a board man between her legs...... this would conjure up a whole host of notions, not least of which she would be thinking that she had lost her mojo.....

If it was man who had a board man between his legs...... well I know we live in enlightened liberal times, but you would still be thinking.....erm erm ..... things in the down stairs dept not all that they should be.....

So when I say I have a board man between my legs I need to make sure I get it right and put in the right words and meaning..... so when I say I have a board man between my legs* .... it's not so much as a man who is board but a boardman..... a team carbon boardman that is ..... and I am chuffed to buggery I have a boardman between my legs.....

I don't claim to be a great officinado on bikes and there are many out there who will tell you there are much better bikes than a Carbon Fibre Boardman racing bike, but for a variety of reasons this bike is a perfect choice to make.

For a starters, it is cheaper than cheese. Per kilogram it is 1/7th the price of donkey cheese plus you can buy it on the Halfords ride to work scheme at the maximum limit of £1,000 for the scheme. There are other R2W schemes other than Halfords.

But what other product do you know, [leaving all promotional discounts aside] that you walk into a shop and the assistance says yes sir that will cost £1,000 and then when you get to the checkout you only have have to give him £680. [It doesn't quite work like that, but it's the same effect]

Essentially that's how the R2W scheme works and it is brill. You need your employer to agree to sign up first, but as I own the company that was a piece of piss.

I had already planned to buy a Carbon Boardman second hand via ebay, and I was amazed how many new unused ones there were for around £800. 1 seller had claimed he had gone into halfords and bought a £1,000 bike on a whim and the next day decided he wouldn't ride it so was looking to sell it for £800..... yeah right.... who buys a £1,000 bike on a whim !

But when I looked into the R2W scheme operated by Halfords it was simple. The Company registers for the scheme. The employee applies to the employer for a bike. The company buys the bike and the employee buys it from the company out of his wages over a 12 month period.

But and this is the brill bit....... the employee buys it income tax and NI tax free. So instead of spending £1,000 out of his wages on a bike the government allows him to keep the tax on that amount and he only has to pay £680 for the bike...... so actually the bike was cheaper new....... than me buying off some ebay knob and now it is only 9.67% the price of donkey cheese.....

And it is a fab bike on which to ride to work to...... added to which I get this sort of scenery on my drive ride to work.

but remember
if you are going to have a board man
make sure you get the right sort of 
always use the right grammar

today I am using

* they really are my Dorothy shoes

[postscript.... a few days after posting this I thought of course...... 
another great SoD to accompany this post]

who else but the great Iggy
I bet he likes cycling