Friday 22 January 2016

No matter how hard you try .....

... whether its favourite pop stars, actors, 9 year old boys you've never met .... or even your wife... but cancer is never far away .....

Thursday morning on my way to work and as I cycled past Pam and David's house, I thought ..... not seen Pam and David for a while, I wonder if they have gone to Australia to see their son and grand child .....

Wind the clock back, and it's the turn of the century, and I am a young man not contemplating growing old ...... I am 36 years old on the cusp of my 37th birthday,
2 young children, mortgaged more than I wanted to be and I walked out of a well paid job, working for a blue chip company, ridiculously generous company car allowance, and pension ..... to set up my own company .... That was 16 years + 18 days ago .....

Pam and her sister in law worked with me at the branch office of my former employer, and on my departure they both asked ...... can we come too ? ..... we'd love to give up a well paid secure job with an established and safe as houses company .....

My reply ..... of course you can, and with a bit of luck we might survive a couple of months till the money runs out .....

Fab they replied .... where do we sign ?

And so on 4th January 2000, Pam became one of my first employees ..... I'd never employed anyone till then .... but sure enough on month 3 the money had run out, and I sat with my head in hands thinking shit, how do I pay the staff ? ..... but somehow, the first customer funds started rolling in and we made it through, and 16 years later we are still hanging in there ....

But in the early days, I could never have survived the pressures were it not for the support and efforts of Pam, and not forgetting her sister in law, Jude. Without them both we would have gone under, and my sanity would have longed since departed ...... I owe Pam and Jude a lot, beyond employees they became loyal friends .... and so it came, once the company was on solid foundations and Pam decided it was time to retire and enjoy her time with her husband David, now retired too ..... she had worked with me in total all but around 15 years, in all this time and since, we remained good friends. When my dad died, and shortly thereafter my wife's dark days with cancer, Pam was so kind to me, offering the words not of a former employee, but words of kindness and love .....

Wind the clock forwards, to yesterday - 16 years + 17 days, and Pam's son having traveled back from Australia, and David are sat in my office ...... little did I think not a couple of hours earlier in the day, that James and David would be coming to see me.

As David, was talking to me, he started to cry .... a man in his 70's and someone who I have known for over 20 years, and he said don't mind me I'm being soft ......

He's not soft ...... there is a man who cares ......

This afternoon I walked in to the ward at Ipswich Hospital and the nurse pointed out a lady to me, sitting on her bed ..... I had to go back to the Nurse, and apologetically say .... I've not seen Pam since she got ill, can you just point her out to me again ...

Sure enough, the lady sat on the bed.

To give some context, it was a few months back when I saw Pam, and the best way of describing her, is every time I saw Pam Ferris on the telly, it was like watching my Pam ..... but this lady sat on the bed was not my Pam, this lady was more like an anorexic Twiggy ......

As I walked up to her, her eyes smiled at me, and her loving voice quietly said hello .... were it not for her smiling eyes and familiar voice I would have sworn this was a complete stranger ......

Pam fell ill whilst visiting her son in Australia in the summer, and only got home with the help of Medivac just before christmas ......

They are doing their best to try and build up her strength to give her Chemotherapy ..... I hope she makes it, I owe her a lot ......

I am not a religious man, 
but tonight I will say a prayer for Pam x