I know it might seem churlish and pedantic to say so but.........

What shit reporting by the BBC......aaaaaaagain

This is not.......

I repeat for effect.....

NOT

a shopping trolley.....being ridden at 44mph.

This is a go-kart with a shopping trolley cage attached being ridden at 44pmh

Next time you go down to your local Tesco, look at the wheels on the shopping trolley.....any shopping trolley..... do they have go-kart wheels ? .....do they have a solid chassis ?...... do they have an engine fitted ? do they have batteries fitted ? no......

In which case it is not a shopping trolley.... even the builder of the said go-kart-cum-trolley acknowledged in the article that it......had undergone much modification.

So Mr BBC reporter who ever you are, next time the headline should read.....

Much modified Shopping trolley with go-kart wheels, ridden at 44mph in Devon man's 'record'

as he's enjoying bit of renaissance

this is my SoD

Even less comfort.....redux....

.... and so the sea saga rumbles on....

first MoL had 1 ship, then 2 ships, then 1 ship......

now it seems they might soon have non.....

the pointy bit is alight

The funny thing is, one of the containers I am interested in, 

which fell into the sea, 

was loaded with condoms..... 

so now with the fire....

surely there is only one SoD for it..

My Friday.... DiD~SoD......

...... on my desert island the sun is shinning and this is my SoD......

The Staves

See what I mean about......

...cancer being shit

you can't really beat it

you tell your self you can

but.....

This blog will not .... I repeat for effect.... will not.... save your life....

.... it's funny how you see some comment about how this.... or...... that.... will save your life......

Take this drug, it will save your life .......

Don't shun 3D printers - they might save your life one day

5 Gadgets that will save your life

Even.... even this one.....

Joining the WI could save your life......

utter tosh......

In the words of the great Private Frazer..... we're all doomed.....doomed I tell ya.....

The truth is nothing will actually save your life, because we are all bound to die one day. Now of course, I realise that in saying such, I have not declared some great revelation as if we didn't already know it. But it started with Tamoxifen and then it led back to the world of being a Cancer Husband.

I am no chemist, I am no doctor, I am no cancer specialist..... I am just a ridiculous person.

The recent news about using Tamoxifen as a pre-cancer protection brought out the usual nonsense to make the choice for women even harder. Some headlines even talk about Tamoxifen providing a 20 year protection against Cancer......... as if it was a proven fact, a proven magic sweetie that you swallow each day and ta dah your life has been saved !

WRONG.... A BIG FAT FUCKING WRONG !

So there was my wife, a 15 month [as I write] cancer survivor, sat at the computer looking up all the symptoms of why she feels crap [but she has survived cancer you think,..... oh, not that easy I'm afraid ] .......

look she said, I have all these symptoms that make me feel crap, all known side effects of taking Tamoxifen.....  

so why don't you speak to your doctor, or your Oncologist or your cancer nurse.... tell them.... I react....

she said....why ?......  they won't do anything....  

oh so you are happy to turn to Dr Google, but not those who are treating you..... what am I supposed to do ? I am just a ridiculous person........ she looked at me..... 

I didn't know what else to say........

And that's the reality, there is nothing that will save your life, but it will sure as hell make you feel crap in the process. But the joke is, it makes those around you feel crap as well.

That's the thing about cancer... sure you win the first battle, but do you really think you will win in the end ?

But why should I be allowed to say this ? ..... I am not ill..... I am not the one with Cancer, I am not the one at risk of dying........ well guess what...... I will die and I will die one day when I least want it to happen.

I can remember some events from 30 years ago as if it were yesterday. So here I sit 50 years old and I doubt I will live to 100....... it will be pure luck to make to 90.......but who knows I might just get to 80........ but if I can remember back 30 years ago as if it were yesterday,  could my death at 80 seem like tomorrow ?

So that is what is shit about being a cancer husband..... you have to get it right all the time, you're not allowed to be negative, you're not allowed to say the wrong thing, you're not allowed to fail the test of telepathy....

But why shouldn't I be allowed to feel like this ? ...... do you have to be ill to have a view ? do you have to be ill to be pissed off about something ?

The other thing I noted about being a Cancer husband...... every bit of news, every commentary, every web link associated with cancer or those who loose their battle with cancer, and you are hooked there is no escape.

Listening to the radio the other morning, I heard this lady talk about the loss of her husband and his bravery towards the end. I should out of respect offer up their names, but I'll shan't and not because I am being disrespectful. But she spoke of the book he wrote as he faced his own death.

I looked the book up, very inspiring indeed......... the glowing reviews from people who were touched by his wisdom and how it would make them reflect and change their own lives before they got ill........ and then the web page said.... people who brought this book also brought this one..... and there it was......... another book by another brave person who also bravely faced his own death from cancer..... and yet more glowing reviews from people who were touched by his wisdom and how it would make them reflect and change their own lives before they got ill...... stop ! stop ! stoooooop ! I screamed.....

I don't want to be brave and wise about my death or anyone else's for that matter...... And that's part of the problem....... sometimes I just want to be a ridiculous person.

One of my favourite books of all time is Tuesday's with Morrie, written by Mitch Albom. I read it long long before, I thought I could ever end up as a Cancer Husband.... and oh my word what a telling book to read. I brought it at Heathrow airport, and on a flight to the West Indies I opened the first page with the plane on the runway at Heathrow, and finished it non stop with time for a film before the plane landed in Barbados.

This book says many things, not least of which Morrie Schwartz did not die of cancer, he died of Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. There are many parts of Mitch Alboms writings I can quote but Morrie talks about the quote from W H Auden [a wonderful insight full poet] the comment -  

love each other or perish

I don't want to be a Cancer husband, I don't want to read about brave people, 

I just want to be a ridiculous person.

but ridiculous husband or not

 for my SoD I choose this

Less than comforting..... redux....

....first they had one ship.......then two.....and now it seems they are back to one again...

Seems the stern section of the MoL Comfort has now sunk

....and to be fair the forward pointy section is not looking too good either

....... think of all those flat screen TV's and XBox 360's and the like, 

now floating around the Indian Ocean....

Only one song for it really..... 

the floor [or should that be sea-bed] 

is all yours Annie !

[the divine Annie Lennox, 

love her young, love her old,

 like a fine wine she

just gets better and betterer with age]

A play list of the day...... Inspired by a man walking around with his knob & tackle hanging out......

... for my last entry, linking to the latest news about Stephen Gough, I did think that considering all the crap weather we have had...... Stephen Gough must be one of the coolest blokes around and so my original SoD for that post had to be.... non other than one of the coolest in music and the song ?

this was my first choice .....

Now....... Iggy Pop apart from being cool, 

he is without doubt one of the prettiest ugly people 

there has ever been, 

but oh what music he has given us.....

I had this album when it came out...

but tapes didn't last very well, so on the strength
of re-finding these songs 

I have re brought the album
in that new CD fangled format.......

what about this song from Iggy from the same album ? 

could you imagine Radio 2 playing this song ?......

erm erm....... think not

In truth you could do an whole blog on Iggy songs
 he is that good...... 

but then of course what about the other coolest men in music ?

how fantastic is this ?

what a fantastic Friday jangly song.....

I have a track by Iggy, singing pretty flamingoes 

and when I youtubed it......

 I got this....

another one of the coolest men in music
with another Friday jangly song....

I love this next song amongst many of Paul Wellers....

he could sing he phone book and still sound fantastic

and then thinking about Paul Weller I was reminded of the time 

I saw him at the Albert Hall and who should join him 

on stage that night...... oh my word..... it was Kelly......

just how cool is this guy ?
{his tribute to Gary Speed}

a few years back I indulged my self and brought a Ferrari

as I drove it home from the garage

this next song was the first song
I played in it........... full throttle

I included this version because the rendition is fantastic....

despite all the blathering at the start
and seriously those people in the back ground ..... 

like a fooking muppet show !!

and so we go from Kelly to Eddie.....

and then this..... with the wonderful Nusrat of course

by now with all this cool we should be damn near artic

but to bring us 9 below zero

.......... how could I miss off my Elvis.... 

oh Jeff......... oh Jeff why did you leave so soon ?

is this really the last goodbye ?

I could write a whole blog about JB too...

and of course the cool list could
go on and on but it is Friday and I need to end
this post somewhere.... so how about I end back where it all started
with

Stephen Gough - The Naked Rambler

Roam Stephen Roam !

A PLoD inspired by a man walking around with his knob & tackle hanging out

You've got to admire his balls.....

.... off to prison he must go again......

stark bollux naked I presume

You can understand why society doesn't know quite know what to do with him, but locking him up..... is that really the answer ?...... Although I did find the story of his ex quite funny....

does anyone want any toast ?

but with all these savillisms in society the natural [as opposed to naturist] argument is to shout at him..... put some bloody clothes on man !

At the same time of course, when you think about it, think really hard.... you do have to ask yourself..... what actually is he doing wrong ? I kinda like his style even if his approach is unorthodox.

He refuses to give in, refuses to be beaten and so the "law enforcers" see no choice but to bang him up...... I wonder....... if he wears no clothes in prison, do they have to paint the stripes on him to replicate the striped uniform that prisoners wear ?

I also find it funny that he is described as the naked rambler...... as if somehow he needs to be differentiated from un-naked ramblers..... are you a naked rambler ? ...... oooooh nooooo, I keep my boots on I'll have you know !

It seems Scotland is his choosen arena to fight the good fight, god help him when the Scots decree they are finally free of us ..... can you imagine Steve Goughs passport photo ?

I think on the whole, Steve Gough is a man trying to prove a point, is he doing it the right way ? who knows, who am I to say...... but I get what he means..... Steve I take my hat off to ya..... but that's all mind ya !

So my SoD must surely be inspired by 

The Naked Rambler

This was not my first choice song, but for my
first choice it led me on to so many other songs
so that instead, for Friday I shall offer up a 

Naked Rambler inspired PLoD

Captain ! Captain ! Captain ! .....

Captain:  ...... what is it able seaman ? .....

Able seaman: .... Captain, are ships meant to bend like that Captain ?....

Captain: .......Man the bloody life boats !...... Captains and children first....

Captain: ..........Get out of my way able seaman....last man into the life boats is a sissy.....

bloody glad I'm not on that ship. Funny thing is the ship is called MOL Comfort, don't think the owners will be comforted by this picture or the next ones in the sequence, which show the owners now have 2 ships not one...
now going in opposite directions it seems

Only one song for it really

Do the RSPCA.........

know about this ?

adds an whole new meaning to the phrase.......

blind as a cat

There can only be one song for it really..... a song from the film of the same name......ooooh the divine Catherine..... oh Catherine ...how I dreamed...... Catherine, every school boys belle de jour......ach erm where was I ?

oh yes, a song from the film of the same name.... but I was reminded of the song from the great scene in Inglourious Basterds...... another one of those perfect placing of a song in a film moments, where the sum of the whole is greater than the individual parts..... and oh my, the song to accompany the divine Mélanie Laurent...... oh Mélanie...... how I dreamed...... Mélanie, every middle aged mans belle de jour...... ach erm ..... the song..... yes the song.....

Come on Davey,

Let's put some fires out

with gasoline

I love......

... pies
.... the blue nile
..... gadgets
......cars
....music

but I also love swearing..... not in a tourettes sort of way but in an uncouth sort of way.
my wife tells me not to swear...she says it's not big, it's not clever and it sounds like you can't express your self properly. The funny thing is, when I swear I think I express my self very well. I once saw an interview with the late great Dave Allen, and he was defending his swearing on Tv, he said it was just words..... he was right....

Fuck, fuck, fucking fuck fuck, fucker, fucking fuck fucker, fuckwit fuck......

Fuck that felt fucking good..... as I type I can hear the words in my head, and I genuinely feel it as a great fucking big pressure relief valve in my head.....

Fuck is a great fucking word.... but not to describe sex, I hate it when people using to describe it that way....... fancy a fuck ? ..... nooooo...... fuck is far too good a word than to simply demean sex..........sexth is a great word......but even so there are better words for that as well.....

But today...my WoD is ..........  F U C K 

my wife does not know I write this blog....

There is even a song for my WoD... 

would you fucking believe it hey

As that was soooooo short 

here's my bonus SoD from the same album

Well would you adam and cregan it........

so this fookers barrister......

managed to convince the jury after all....that Dale Cregan was not guilty of the attempted murder of Sharon Hark. Bet the barrister feels good about himself this morning......although it did get me thinking about the jurys decision......

Dale Cregan is a vindictive evil bastard and clearly deranged. There you are sitting on the jury for the trial of this man, whose criminal contacts extend far and wide. Cregan had already admitted to the murder of 4 people so he was going to prison anyway....so why would I as a jury member decide to find him guilty of a lesser charge [regardless of whether he was guilty or not], and so by saying not guilty, then after the event I can openly say......ooooher Mr Cregan don't get one of your nasty friends to fook me over..... I thought you were innocent..... as opposed to saying he was guilty and shittin me sen for the rest of my life in case he sends someone round, out of pure evil spite...... is that not what he did to those 2 police officers he brutally murdered ?

And even though it would be wrong to find a guilty man innocent for such reasons, by doing so there is no consequence.....Cregan was going to jail for a very long time anyway....

As for the cost of putting this bastard away.... well.....

much cheaper to get a length of rope me thinks.....

The reports say, in prison till the day he dies, apparently....... or until the next vindictive evil bastard appears on the radar that is...... 

For sure there are plenty of Dale fucking Cregan 

lookalikes out there walking the streets.......

Next Please.......

..... it seems that Next has such a low opinion of it's customers, they believe we are incapable of knowing how to wash our hands after a p1ss......

There I was in my local Next super/hyper/mega {delete as appropriate} store when I thought..... I don't need a coat..... I need a p1ss..... so off I went to the powder room..... completed my task and then set about, as I always do after such matters, of washing my hands.....

And so there I was....... wondering.... oh my word what do I do now ?... I was confronted with the complexity of a bowl, soap, hot tap, cold tap.... and these two appendages at the end of my arms......

......god this was going to be sooooo complicated, I thought I may never complete this stage of my powder room visit.....

And then to my relief.... [bearing in mind it was a relief visit anyway] I looked up and what did I see.....

I saw this

I looked upwards and declared 

...... oh thank you Next Risk Management team.... 

oh thank you .... thank you.......   

I consider myself reasonably smart, but I did think, just how pigshit thick do you have to be, that you need to have a pictorial guide as to how to wash your hands in a public bog ?......

What was going through their minds, when The Next Risk Management team, during their weekly team meeting, declared that...... we'll fit one of these posters in all of our wash rooms..... at what point did the intern not think to stand up and say..... you stupid dicks..... unless you think all of our customers have a mental age of 5 or less, by all means remind them to wash their hands.... but give them story book of how to...... seriously ??.....

Honestly no wonder the youth of today are incapable of making a decision or working out a problem.....

So to the NEXT Risk Managment Team.... this is for you....

There can only be one song really...... 

And what a great song it is....

I guarantee before the end is out you will be 

tapping your toes and joining in...

and as the sun is shinning 

and I am in bed bouncy mood 

what about this bonus one too......

this is fab.....

this is for you

postscript......sod it..... let's go full throttle bed bouncy...

yeee har !

How in fooks name could they .......

do such a thing to this boy.....


Look at his face........

How the hell could anyone do such a thing to a child...their own child for christ's sake.... but sadly this is not the first and in my life I have no doubts it will happen again.....

You are left there in utter disbelief at the depravity of his parents...... I don't think this one is going to be a tough one for the jury..... However, will there be any true justice ? I doubt there will.....

But my word, the smile on that boys face, look at how Daniel Pelka looks back at you ......and then his smile is gone........

There's no SoD for this.....

IF 

THERE IS 

ANYTHING 

THAT WILL 

ENDURE 

THE EYE OF 

GOD 

because 

it is pure 

IT IS 

THE SPIRIT 

of 

A LITTLE 

CHILD

and so we enter the end of the 1st half....

of this year and I am left wondering ...... where in gawd's name is my life disappearing to ......

As a kid growing up, June was just the doorway to summer holidays.... but now as a young man grown old, January came and went, then February and the rest just slipped through my fingers..... and now in June, I am thinking nearly half of this year is done already and it ain't ever coming back.........

One consolation is that the sun is shinning and it's not raining....well not here, not over me anyway....

I suppose I can at least be grateful that the first 6 months of this year are nooooo where near as exciting as last years first 6 months ...... this time last year my life, or should I say the lives around me, were turned upside down and inside out, and all I have to worry about today is the container of health supplements sitting in an El Salvadorian port for the last 3 years....

Does El Salvador beckon ? I think not, but should it, I will make sure I take James Wood with me.... he is an expert on matters in Salvador.

So on the theme of days slipping by, here is my Monday SoD.....