.... I had cause to go to Paris on Monday.... not because..... I was a right Charlie... and in fact when I got to the passport desk at Charles De Gaulle Airport, the immigration officer looked quite disappointingly at my passport, when he saw my name was not Charlie.....
It was a quick in and out visit, I was traveling light, and already checked in from home, so thinking I'd be clever...... whilst on the Luton Airport car park shuttle bus, I would be prepared for security....... I emptied me pockets of all stuff, I had no liquids and ....... I removed me belt and put it in my bag.....
Well my oh my..... as I left the bus and headed out to the terminal.... it started..... me trousers started their downwards, gravity driven path...... all the way towards the security entrance at departures, I had one hand clutching me bag and the other on me waist band .......
That's what it has come to....... looney toons want to kill other inhabitants of this earth.... and seemingly in pursuit of safe air travel, I have to........ remove my watch, make sure my mobile phone is charged and working and in my bag, my laptop charged up and working and ready to be removed from my bag, my liquids of more than 100ml are dispensed with, my liquids of less than 100ml are in the correct see through bag, take my coins out of my pocket and put them in a easy to find place in my bag, leave all nail clippers at home [who takes nail clippers away with you anyway], and then when I have done all that........ take my belt off......
Of course all the doosayers say ..... but you want safe travel don't you ? it's in your own interests ..... it's a small price to pay for safe air travel...... erm err erm.... let me think.....
So last Sunday, the march in Paris..... for unity and for charlie...... many of the leaders of the EU states were there... arms linked together... showing the Jihadists ... their fuck you stance ....... and as I was listening to the BBC's radio coverage.... I heard them say...... there was a representative of Russia there ...... to show his/Russia's support......
Whoooooooooooa ....... hang on a minute........
Is this the same Russia who gave some looney toons in the Ukraine some heavy shit missiles..... so those self same looney toons could shoot down a passenger plane..... killing women, children, men whom had all done as they were told ..........and followed the rules of safe air travel....
I'm not one of the world's great thinkers ........but...... hoooooow........ the fucking hell......... does that one work then ?
A Russian delegate marching with the rest of EU leaders in a stand against .....terroris........ shit that is totally mad.....
Thinking back to the days that I remember of the IRA..... in the 70's/80's dropping bombs everywhere..... rubbish bins in public places were deemed a good dropping off point..... so what happened.... bins got removed, especially from train stations...... bloody nightmare trying to find a bin..... literally ......
But here we are 40/30 years later, and terror is still on our streets....... today it is Paris streets..... and all because of some cartoons......
yeah yeah...
I know it's said to be a wider argument about the freedom tooffend speech..... but there's been some crap spoken over the last week.... last week the BBC had some UK cartoonist who said the way to respond was to use satire and cartoons to consign these people [who carried out the shootings] to the dustbin of history.... what a load of utter bollocks.... can't remember this blokes name.... but has he never read a history book..
So how will removing my belt really win the war on terror.... when all it takes are some cartoons...... and some looney toons........
All I could think about as I marched to the security at Luton Airport, was not how I was helping win the war on terror.... but wishing instead, my bloody trousers were not falling down.....
My belt is not big enough to blow my nuts off let alone bring down a plane ....... so I say this to either those in charge of........ airport security..... or the looney toons ...... [you decide which camp you are in]...... if I promise not to bring my crayola* crayons onto the plane.......
..... can I please keep my belt on as I go through airport security ? .......otherwise my only choice is a business suit with elasticated waist bands....... noooooo way.....
It was a quick in and out visit, I was traveling light, and already checked in from home, so thinking I'd be clever...... whilst on the Luton Airport car park shuttle bus, I would be prepared for security....... I emptied me pockets of all stuff, I had no liquids and ....... I removed me belt and put it in my bag.....
Well my oh my..... as I left the bus and headed out to the terminal.... it started..... me trousers started their downwards, gravity driven path...... all the way towards the security entrance at departures, I had one hand clutching me bag and the other on me waist band .......
That's what it has come to....... looney toons want to kill other inhabitants of this earth.... and seemingly in pursuit of safe air travel, I have to........ remove my watch, make sure my mobile phone is charged and working and in my bag, my laptop charged up and working and ready to be removed from my bag, my liquids of more than 100ml are dispensed with, my liquids of less than 100ml are in the correct see through bag, take my coins out of my pocket and put them in a easy to find place in my bag, leave all nail clippers at home [who takes nail clippers away with you anyway], and then when I have done all that........ take my belt off......
Of course all the doosayers say ..... but you want safe travel don't you ? it's in your own interests ..... it's a small price to pay for safe air travel...... erm err erm.... let me think.....
So last Sunday, the march in Paris..... for unity and for charlie...... many of the leaders of the EU states were there... arms linked together... showing the Jihadists ... their fuck you stance ....... and as I was listening to the BBC's radio coverage.... I heard them say...... there was a representative of Russia there ...... to show his/Russia's support......
Whoooooooooooa ....... hang on a minute........
Is this the same Russia who gave some looney toons in the Ukraine some heavy shit missiles..... so those self same looney toons could shoot down a passenger plane..... killing women, children, men whom had all done as they were told ..........and followed the rules of safe air travel....
I'm not one of the world's great thinkers ........but...... hoooooow........ the fucking hell......... does that one work then ?
A Russian delegate marching with the rest of EU leaders in a stand against .....terroris........ shit that is totally mad.....
Thinking back to the days that I remember of the IRA..... in the 70's/80's dropping bombs everywhere..... rubbish bins in public places were deemed a good dropping off point..... so what happened.... bins got removed, especially from train stations...... bloody nightmare trying to find a bin..... literally ......
But here we are 40/30 years later, and terror is still on our streets....... today it is Paris streets..... and all because of some cartoons......
yeah yeah...
I know it's said to be a wider argument about the freedom to
So how will removing my belt really win the war on terror.... when all it takes are some cartoons...... and some looney toons........
All I could think about as I marched to the security at Luton Airport, was not how I was helping win the war on terror.... but wishing instead, my bloody trousers were not falling down.....
My belt is not big enough to blow my nuts off let alone bring down a plane ....... so I say this to either those in charge of........ airport security..... or the looney toons ...... [you decide which camp you are in]...... if I promise not to bring my crayola* crayons onto the plane.......
 | |
| weapons of mass disruption |
..... can I please keep my belt on as I go through airport security ? .......otherwise my only choice is a business suit with elasticated waist bands....... noooooo way.....
Here's a great SoD
Oh how we all love
a bit of Donovan
* or in my case... Staedtler... but that doesn't roll off the tongue keyboard .... like crayola crayons....
