... I never really see myself as a skilled wordsmith..... my tiping is shut.... my spilling is rubesh and I reelly mist learn to porff read much butter..... but there are times when it is important to get the right words perfect.....
Imagine a woman had a board man between her legs...... this would conjure up a whole host of notions, not least of which she would be thinking that she had lost her mojo.....
If it was man who had a board man between his legs...... well I know we live in enlightened liberal times, but you would still be thinking.....erm erm ..... things in the down stairs dept not all that they should be.....
So when I say I have a board man between my legs I need to make sure I get it right and put in the right words and meaning..... so when I say I have a board man between my legs* .... it's not so much as a man who is board but a boardman..... a team carbon boardman that is ..... and I am chuffed to buggery I have a boardman between my legs.....
But what other product do you know, [leaving all promotional discounts aside] that you walk into a shop and the assistance says yes sir that will cost £1,000 and then when you get to the checkout you only have have to give him £680. [It doesn't quite work like that, but it's the same effect]
Imagine a woman had a board man between her legs...... this would conjure up a whole host of notions, not least of which she would be thinking that she had lost her mojo.....
If it was man who had a board man between his legs...... well I know we live in enlightened liberal times, but you would still be thinking.....erm erm ..... things in the down stairs dept not all that they should be.....
So when I say I have a board man between my legs I need to make sure I get it right and put in the right words and meaning..... so when I say I have a board man between my legs* .... it's not so much as a man who is board but a boardman..... a team carbon boardman that is ..... and I am chuffed to buggery I have a boardman between my legs.....
I don't claim to be a great officinado on bikes and there are many out there who will tell you there are much better bikes than a Carbon Fibre Boardman racing bike, but for a variety of reasons this bike is a perfect choice to make.
For a starters, it is cheaper than cheese. Per kilogram it is 1/7th the price of donkey cheese plus you can buy it on the Halfords ride to work scheme at the maximum limit of £1,000 for the scheme. There are other R2W schemes other than Halfords.
But what other product do you know, [leaving all promotional discounts aside] that you walk into a shop and the assistance says yes sir that will cost £1,000 and then when you get to the checkout you only have have to give him £680. [It doesn't quite work like that, but it's the same effect]
Essentially that's how the R2W scheme works and it is brill. You need your employer to agree to sign up first, but as I own the company that was a piece of piss.
I had already planned to buy a Carbon Boardman second hand via ebay, and I was amazed how many new unused ones there were for around £800. 1 seller had claimed he had gone into halfords and bought a £1,000 bike on a whim and the next day decided he wouldn't ride it so was looking to sell it for £800..... yeah right.... who buys a £1,000 bike on a whim !
But when I looked into the R2W scheme operated by Halfords it was simple. The Company registers for the scheme. The employee applies to the employer for a bike. The company buys the bike and the employee buys it from the company out of his wages over a 12 month period.
But and this is the brill bit....... the employee buys it income tax and NI tax free. So instead of spending £1,000 out of his wages on a bike the government allows him to keep the tax on that amount and he only has to pay £680 for the bike...... so actually the bike was cheaper new....... than me buying off some ebay knob and now it is only 9.67% the price of donkey cheese.....
And it is a fab bike on which to ride to work to...... added to which I get this sort of scenery on my drive ride to work.
but remember
if you are going to have a board man
make sure you get the right sort of
boardman
always use the right grammar
today I am using
London
* they really are my Dorothy shoes
[postscript.... a few days after posting this I thought of course......
another great SoD to accompany this post]
who else but the great Iggy
I bet he likes cycling
