Which party do you fear.......

... in the past I have described myself as apolitical ...but thinking about it, that must be wrong......

I feel nothing but contempt for our current crop of political leaders we find ourselves stuck with....of course we have the politicians we deserve....but when it's Nick Clugg, Dave Notafuckingclueron or Ed ....erm ....Ed erm...now what's his name ?  erm..... any way that Ed bloke fronting the labour party.... well they are all knobs....

So seeing the trouncing they got from UKip does make you wonder if finally the political establishment of recent years has final got the kick up the arse it needs...and deserves.... and so thinking that, I came to the conclusion that I am not apolitical after all..... I do care about who runs this country.....

Regardless of your stance about UKip the one thing you can say about these results is that it has finally demonstrated that the voting public can actual say to the ruling elect, .......fuck you.... we can vote you out of office.....and if that means using a party with no real substance then we will do it......

It pains me to say it, as I loathe the man for his lies over Iraq, but on radio 4 this morning Tony Blair did raise a valid point....and that was for all the UKip rhetoric and hype.... the reality is they have no answers...... but for this week at least, they have given the conliblab twat party a deserved kick up the arse....and who knows in the Newark by-election it might even extend to a poke in the eye....

Time for a SoD

me thinks

what other could there be ?

god bless you Billy

For a man who can deliver
a song as wonderful as this
why did you go so soon ?

[bowie's was good, but this is gooder still]

And for out and out Bill Mack fans here is
another great bowie cover
[albeit that wild is the wind
was first done by Nina Simone]

[Billy Mack postscript]

since first lodging this post I have been listening to Billy as I work
so here is one of his own offerings
as one commentator says
the dogs bollox

Songs to dig graves by... the end is nigh....

... and so to end the week of James... what better than a Hymn from a {suffolk} village....

There is a headstone in the cemetery which has a quote,
I never fail to be moved by it..... 

I even used it in my eulogy for my dad at his funeral.....

To live in the hearts of those we love is not to die

On reflection I should have cleaned the birdshite off it to take this picture, but I have only volunteered to cut and tend the grass, not shovel shit. Also it was only as I was preparing this post today did I notice that after a week of James..... this last picture, is the final resting place of ......James

A good place to make this post

the final resting place

of a week of SoD's from

James.....

[postscript: all of this weeks offerings have been from the same album, the album I chose to select as I fired up the mower last weekend...... but simply because this is a fantastic track.... here is a bonus SoD] 

Songs to dig graves by... get me outta of ere....

Not sure if this fella was a lawn cutter, who lay down, and then found him self entombed, but for sure it looks as if he is trying to make a break for it now.....

Here's today's

SoD

James once more....

as an aside all of this week's

offerings are from the same album

worth every penny of the 5 quid...+51p

Songs to dig graves by.... on your arse.....

....... so having cut the lawn on one side of the cemetery and then in walks a group of historical ramblers.... not that they were old or owt... but they were interested in the graves and the church and they were wearing ramblers uniform.....

So that they could hear what was being said... and to be fair so I could hear too..... I switched off the mower....

When they went in to the church and as it was a beautiful sunny day, I thought I would have a lie down and listen to the music......

But of course what did occur to me as I lay there, eyes closed, listening to music....was that if the ramblers came back out of the church and saw me lying next to the lawn mower and then think.... oh my god he's dead..... so then I was in a dilemma, carry on listening to the music and then not hear a rambler rushing over and giving me the kiss of life ?.... or jigging around to show I was still moving.... ?

but then on came the next track

and quick as a flash

James gave me the solution

so take my advice if you want

to rest in a grave yard,

don't lie down just......[full volume]

Songs to dig graves by.... the gentle giant....

... it seems , so I am led to believe, according to the leader of the rambling club who visited the grave yard.... that in the 1800's graves were marked with a head stone...... and a foot stone......

I never knew that before last Saturday. I always thought the little foot stones marked midgets graves...

Looking at this picture, I bet you can't guess which one was the giant.... George was his name, and reportedly 7 foot 7 inches tall..... he even has a house in the village named after him..... The Giant's House....

So here is the giant

where he is laid

marked by the end of his legs

Time for a song me thinks

[and just in time to be

classed as today's SoD]

Songs to dig graves by.......

.... well when I say dig graves by...... it is not so much as digging them, and more a case of tending to them, giving the grass a much needed cut.......

One of the joys of living in a Suffolk village is that you can do things like volunteering to tend to the graves, and what it allows you to do, is fire up the mower, put in the head phones, and with the sound of some great music [my choice] you can switch off....and for 2 hours at least be in a world of your own, but hopefully not their [the residents] world just yet.

Friday night waiting for Later with Jools to appear I had flicked over to BBC 2 and caught the tail end of news night..... and there they were, 1 female presenter and 3 female guests all espousing their outrage at Richard Scudamore, and by the end of the article I was truely amazed that Mr Scudmore's gonads were not being served upon a platter [à la that great scene in the film ....The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover]. For the record the news night lynch mob were/are Yalda Hakim [presenting] with Claire Fox, Eniola Aluko, Anna Kessel.... never heard of any of em before Friday night, but to be fair they have probably never heard of me....

Oh how Jeremy Clarkson must be so relieved he is not the only male cocking it up...... to his rescue along came Richard Scudamore....

Quite frankly I can't be arsed to get too excited by what Richard Scudamore did or how crass it was/wasn't {delete as appropriate} but it is amazing the mass hysteria it has created among female commentators...... god help any of them, if they found themselves in the audience of a Roy Chubby Brown show....... blimey.... then they would be outraged .....

Funny though, how it has re-engaged the issue of mens attitude to women.... Take this article, was it written by a man perchance ? I mean would you get an article entitled ....... What REALLY turns men on: Researchers reveal which male body parts are most sensitive (and exactly how to stimulate them). It's the use of the words and exactly how to stimulate them.... as if they are somehow all automatons.... but the truth is, articles about turning women on have been written since men could first think..... one of life's great mysteries, how to turn women on...... but what articles of this nature identify is the arrogance of men-vs-woman....any different from Scudamore's musings ? But if there was ever a need to know how to turn women off.... then I think Mr Scudamore has cornered the market though.....

Perhaps many of the outraged should have watched Kirsty Warks, Blurred Lines, he is probably a men amongst equals.

But clearly it seems that all that we write or say...is now being monitored for the first hint of outrage..... you have been warned......

Listening to Radio Five throughout Sunday whilst fitting gutters [better than being in them I say], and program after program debated in minutiae of detail Mr Scudamore's faux pas.... with vote after vote of should he stay or go ?

This blog is not about Mr Scudamore's right to cause outrage amongst his adoring female fans, nor have I any intentions of seeking to defend his actions..... but there I was walking up down the lawn of our dear departed and thinking all that outrage, all that anger, all that offence...... look down at your feet and what do you see ?

When ever I am on the graveyard shift, I choose what music to listen to, with a view to providing the maximum escape from the madness of the real world, reflected by the vision of the world that awaits us...... this weekend it was James, and so I am choosing a week of James ..... songs to dig graves by.....

And to end today's entry, for all those who love fast cars, an acknowledgment to the great Jack Brabham, who has now left this life.... but oh what a legacy.... and what a great line how he is the only man ever to clinch the F1 title on foot....... given half the chance I would happily mow the law of his resting place.....

So here we go

for today's SoD
the 1st song

to dig graves by

Talking of all things Picasso.....

........ at times there is something quite surreal about Bjork .....

In my time I have stood on many trucks

but I have never been as excited as Bjork is in this video, 

and not wearing a seatbelt no less

and like Picasso this is pure brilliance...

[Iceland's answer to David Byrne]
but to get the full effect

usual rules apply

full screen 

full volume

and you need to

stand up to listen [flatbed truck optional]

It must be the picasso in me.....

Last summer whilst at the national monument of Mount St Helen's I spotted this bear poking it's head up....

I have mentioned before seeing the face of Jesus in my coffee, and then at the weekend I swear I could see the smiling face of Jesus on the back of this Bee.....

  

and then this.... I casually discarded this piece of wood and when I turned and looked at it again.... surely this must be some sort of sign.....

A bare naked lady....... which I agree is missing her head.... but I could always 

be a bit picasso....

I was torn between 2 SoD's so instead.......

you can choose either..... 

or both .... 

if you like ....

Ladies who Lycra.....

... just like the men before them a couple of years back, it's now the turn of the ladies of the saddle to pass through our region......in this year's Tour of Britain.

Watching the ladies matching the interest of the men, it is kind of interesting seeing this gender balance compared to some other topical female headline stories....

The obvious one which catches everyone's eyes at the moment, is in Nigeria with more antics of hoodlums under the title of the Boko Haram....

Alas our celebrities and politicians are jumping on the band wagon of holding up their hashtag's, or like the no mark politician on last night's BBC Question time, held up her wrist to show her natty red bracelet..... look at ME every one she said ..... Look how I care for those poor girls..... doesn't that make ME look so good and caring..... fook hell you stupid woman, no it does not ..... [and for the record if it had been a man politician, then that last sentence would been ....... fook hell you stupid man, no it does not......] any way I digress......

How can any one believe a celebrity media hashtag campaign will do anything worthwhile other than draw more unnecessary attention to publicity seeking dicks.......... I am surprised some dickhead has not suggested a crowd funding exercise to send in a crack team of mercenaries....

If you read some of the joe public commentators contributions to the new stories... then maybe they have........ the fab Roy of Cheshire says [and yes he does use capital letters throughout]......... USE A DRONE TO TURN THEM INTO BONE MEAL ....... ASAP....... better still good ole Steve of UK warns them........ that the SAS are coming to get you !...... der don't tell them you idiot.... now they'll be ready...... silly Steve.... nearly as bad as the Dad's Army...... German Officer - what's your name boy....... Cpt Mainwaring - Don't tell him Pike !

Steve........ fancy letting the Boko Haram know that the SAS are on their way......

And that is the stupidity by which this news story has degenerated...... What has happened to those abducted girls is a terrible injustice..... and the Nigerian President Jonathan, is gunna need more than a good luck name to sort this mess...... I hope our policitians don't end up using this naming style.... otherwise we could end up with a Prime Minster..... Notafookingclue Dave.....

Anyway I digress once more, but what is happening in Nigeria is a very complex and difficult issue surrounding terrorism, and not a simplistic view of kidnapping school girls.... when the celebrity hashtagger's say..... bring back our girls..... do they think that the SAS or the Seals are going to rush in, rescue them ala the A Team, and bring them all home on a bus to a hero's welcome..... remember the scenes at the return of the chilean miners ? ........

This not a straight forward hostage taking, like say Entebbe Airport or Munich Olympics or Iraq US Embassy....... what struck me most yesterday was the juxtaposition of 2 headline stories on the BBC news web page...... for the girls abducted in Nigeria it is a tragedy .... but the situation in Nigeria goes way beyond that..... it is about the fundamental principle of good against evil.....

But that is the thing about these 2 headlines, one relates to removing these girls from a dangerous situation and the other...... well the other speaks for it's self...... I am not against the de-gendering of soldiers.... let's face it one of this land's greatest warriors was female..... good old bue-di-ka..... or if you woz taught proper like wot I woz, then her name is boda-see-er.....

So we have the celebrities hashtagging to..... bring back our girls..... and our politician's debating send away our girls....... how does that one work then ?

Quite why the faux celebrities think they are ..... their girls.... is beyond me.... they are no one's girls.... they are their own person..... maybe that is it.... if the girls man up and get some balls, we can send them out to the front line and challenge the Boko Haram...... man-to- ..... ach erm..... woman-to-man....

There was an excellent program on BBC 2 last night, Blurred Lines... presented by the loverly Kirsty Wark ...... [ oh Kirsty.... oh Kirsty ..... shall I compare thee to a Summer's day, thou art more loverly and more.......] ach erm...... where was I ?...... oh yes .....Blurred Lines*, and Kirsty presented a valid debate on whether in the modern world, through the new world order communications and the internet, misogyny is getting worse. The program didn't give too many answers but it did raise some very interesting questions..... personally I don't think misogyny is getting worse .... I think it is just getting easier to spot...... let's face it, is the Nigerian story any different to this ...... ? ....... I doubt it, both are equally repugnant ........

When it boils down to it we are all human..... a fucked up species...... and as for me ? .....do I prefer my ladies in combat fatigues or lycra ? ..... err ...... erm ......err..... 

ladies ! ladies ! 

slow down 

whilst I get my bike clips.....

*[twat alert: there was a great interview in the program where Kirsty "challenged" Rod Lidlle about somethings he had written on line about people....... he said that sometimes..... there were no boundaries, you can't censor your self as a journalist, otherwise ...... you may as well be an insurance loss adjuster...... hey Rod I choose not to censor myself when I say this...... Rod you are a twat......]

Belle Du Jour..... shit happens...

How could I have a week of SoD's about ladies names and Constance doesn't get a mention..... so to remedy that here we go.......

Good ole Constance will get plenty of time to surf the net over the next few months and I hope she finds time to stumble upon this blog and appreciate my offering to her.....

As I predicted in February 2013 she was heading into oblivion and so it is, she will now go beyond oblivion and end up as some female lags biatch.....

Constance if you are reading this..... 

I know you are.... 

this is for you baby

Belle du semaine .........

.... posting the icicle works last week..... I was reminded just how many songs there are with girls names..... The list is quite large but my first encounter with such songs was Tom Jones and Delilah..... as a child of the 60's my parents were fans of Tom..... there are lot's of other obvious ones, but hopefully not so obvious...

So this week is a week of girls names..... the choice is not every song there is, because simply they are my choice of names, and my choice of songs...... but click away and if you like my SoD's I bet you find a song or two you might like......

Pick a name.... any name

             Christine                    
                                                                                             Ingrid                 
                  Jenny      
                                                       Joanna                                                      Grace
                                                                           Hermoine

                          Sarah                                                                        Patsy
                                                            Jane

Emma                                                                                            Mary

                                            Jude                       
                                                                                Karen                         Diana
    Alice
                                                 Melody

                                    Matilda                                                                           Valerie

                   Cecilia                                               Sarah [redux]             

Gloria                                                                                                    Jane [redux]

                                       Alison                               Maggie

        Suzanne                                       Angie                                       Grace [redux] 

Do you like what you are doing ?   

                       Would you do it some more ?                            

                                           

Completely barking mad .......

driving into work this morning listening to radio 4, turns out that the Deputy Assistant Commission of the Metropolitan Police Helen Ball was getting a grilling ..... as an aside..... is she the assistant to the deputy ? ..... or the deputy of the assistant ?....

Anyway turns out that the bullshit brigade metropolitan police are today rolling out a new initiative to persuade Muslim women to ring the Police's 101 help number and tell them of their anxiety about anyone of their muslim men folk going to fight in Syria... and then some specially trained PC Plod will go round to the muslim menfolk and say..... hey fella , your mum/wife/sister/daughter {delete as appropriate} reckons ya guin off to syria to get ya sen shot.......

Helen Ball is completely barking mad ! .... and apparently she is the country's most senior anti terrorist officer ..... lord help us

Is this really what the Police are there to do ? If Helen Ball thinks they are, she is delusional.....

The Police are there to up hold the rule of law in the UK, they are not there to play political agony aunt to one element of our misguided society. Does she really believe that the antidote to this sort of behaviour is a UK policing issue ?...... and the first line of contact for these Muslim woman being some script driven 101 call handler ........

I am not a fool, I know we live in complex times, and I do not jump on the band wagon of saying we need more bobbies on the beat, and heaven forbid we should arm our policemen...... The days of Dixon of Dock Green died with Jack Warner..... evein all.....

But seriously, is this new intitiave what our Police force are reduced to doing....

What next ? stopping pastie lovers moving to Cornwall to fight for homeland rule ?  They can keep their hands off the pasties..... I love pies... and I love pasties..... [they are just Cornish pies]....

But listening to the grilling that Dame Helen got this morning, being challenged as to how exactly the initiative would work in practice, and you just knew she was bullshitting her way through the interview..... you can hear her brand of bullshit here.....

Here also is the analysis from the BBC's expert politic bod Dominic Casciani:

Just a few months ago, police chiefs said that anyone returning from fighting in Syria could be stopped, arrested and charged.

This new appeal marks a huge shift in tone and it immediately raises three questions.

Firstly, how will the police actually get their message out if they don't have strong bonds with the women they are trying to reach?

Secondly, do many mothers actually know what their grown-up sons are planning?

However, the third question is perhaps the most important. Do the communities at the heart of the appeal trust the police?

There is no doubt that many Muslim families don't want their sons to go to Syria. But they also fear that if they go to the police their young men will be marked forever as terrorists - no matter what their intentions were when they left or when they returned.

I can think of a more succinct analysis:

Why are we fooking wasting tax payers money on this shit idea ?

This looks like a case for Dept S......

Jason king would get these knobs soon sorted

Happy crucifixion .......

.... I am somewhat ambivilent over matters of religion, but I was a bit perplexed by a comment made to me as I left the greatest toy shop in the world ......... Machine Mart......

Happy Easter....... the smiling assistant promoted...... he was only being nice and polite, but I was a bit mean when I said..... but I am Jewish ...... I am not Jewish, I was just being mean.....

Now, I am no great theologian, but at the time he made his comment, I just thought it odd to wish me happy Easter..... wasn't that when Jesus was crucified ? Why would I consider that a happy occasion.... sure the story goes that he rose from the dead... but he didn't actually, I mean we talk about the second coming of christ..... and let's face it David Moyes was another false alarm....

I did once see the face of christ in a cup of coffee......

And his image did once appear on the arse of a dog.... [listen to the Paul Buchanan SoD... you will not be disappointed.... although it is PB how could he ever disappoint]

But why would I think of the crucifixion as a joyous time to celebrate..... So to the assistant at Machine Mart, my apologies for being cheap in my reply.... but next time ..... how about trying....... enjoy your easter break from the daily grind at the prison of work..... or something along those lines perhaps.....

Time for a SoD

A fab track from 

the great man himself

And how could it not
be easter
without a bunny or two
a seminal track
from their seminal album
Ocean Rain.... 
not a single crap track



[assuming you like this style of music of course....]


[postscript: how did i miss this one off ??]

Heart Breaking ....... Mv Sewol

When we reflect upon news items, many times our empathy is driven by our own life experiences ......

I was born on a piece of land that could not have been much further from the sea than anywhere else in England, but from the age of 16.5 years of age my adult life has been dominated by ships and the sea ......

We may well see a ship in port and wonder how it's huge mass of steel could ever come to harm..... but in the middle of the Indian ocean as a navigating officer, on a ship a quarter of a mile long, and there were times I wondered if we might need to man the life boats ......

In more recent times, I only have to look at the vessel the MoL Comfort to see the power of the waves .......

Closer to home, it was the Herald of Free Enterprise, The Derbyshire perhaps ? - lost with all hands on deck, or what about the  Titanic ? the list could go on.... it is countless.... the Costa Concordia was but a gnats breath away from the coast line.....

But to see the reports coming in yesterday about the enormous loss of such young lives on the Korean Ferry MV Sewol..... when I think back to my own experiences at sea, I was fortunate ..... the worst I ever encountered was being on a ship hit by lightening..... which on an oil tanker can be a risky affair .......

But the sadness of tales of those lives lost, perhaps one may say needlessly lost ..... Those told to stay put inside the ship, seemingly trapped.... all they did wrong was to do as they were told.....

But what ever turns out to be the reasons, one thing is for sure......... it is heart breaking.......

Modern technology is a blessing and a curse ...... mum this might be the last chance I have to tell you I love you .......

How painful for the mum ..... why ? I love you anyway ...... she has been reunited with him .... but for other parents .......

Not a day for any music..... a poem perhaps ......

When soft the sea breeze blows, my voice will sound,
When soft the rain falls, my tears will cry,
When shadows dance upon spring tides,
You know i am here - i did not die.

When ships sail with the morning tide,
And gulls fish near our sun-kissed shore,
When the air falls with summer breeze,
You'll know i am with you - forevermore.

When the sky is yellow with the setting sun,
And horses gallop upon the noon ebb flow,
When you hear the sea whispering our names against sand,,
You will hear my voice and feel our spirits grow.

So no,my love, come rest upon rocky sands,
Feel the sea breeze caress your sullen mind,
Then will you hear my voice and see me hide,
upon the noon, upon the sea - upon the tide.

You will hear my voice and feel our spirits grow.

So no,my love, come rest upon rocky sands,
Feel the sea breeze caress your sullen mind,
Then will you hear my voice and see me hide,
upon the noon, upon the sea - upon the tide.

[source: .....]

copulating flies......

... pointing the cement to the edges of roof tiles is  nearly as boring as air travel.....

so there I was, on a sunny sunday afternoon, pondering the banality of life [and in this case death].

I could have concerned my self with the latest bullshit report on the use of dirty fossil fuels and how instead we should spend more money on windmills.... but no.... it was copulating flies that caught my attention......

I was mixing up the next batch of cement and as I reached for the water bucket, there on the surface of the water was 2 copulating flies..... not blue bottles.... [that would be too obvious] more like fruit flies, but I don't think they were even that type.... but for sure whatever they were they were copulating flies.....

So did I leave the flies in the bucket to drown in their ecstasy ? or did I pour them into the cement mix, immortalised in stone for ever ? ........ did the earth move for you dear ? .....

I say ecstasy because of course who is not to know that such flies do enjoy an orgasm when they copulate.... they were pretty well engrossed in their conduct, so much so they did not realise that they were at risk of drowning.....

Not sure I would ever risk drowning for a leg over.......

It's funny how we can become pre-occupied by the banality of life.... but of course for the flies, they wouldn't consider their life in the least bit banal..... for them, they are at the epicenter of their universe .....

It would have been easy to pour the copulating flies into the cement mix and point them into the roof for ever...... but........ in the sand I was mixing into the cement, I had earlier seen lots of ants..... trouble was, I couldn't pick out everyone of the ants..... there were hundreds of them..... I'd have been there all day just ant picking.....

So instead...... I saved the copulating flies..... it was then easier to assuage my guilt over the ants.... and with my trowel I lifted the still copulating flies onto the ground .......

Funny how ..... the ants got cemented and the copulating flies lived another day.... to colour once more......

We can't save everyone..... but we can save someone....... 

Makes you wonder who is/was more important ....... the ants ? the copulating flies ? me ?

Well as I had 3 gable ends to cement in, then at that moment in time..... it was me ........

But as the saying goes there are dogs and lamposts.... so should the ants ever take over the universe.... fook I hope they never have any gable roof ends to cement up.... other wise I am done for.......

That's what boring cementing jobs do to you

.... makes you think lots of shit..... 

at least I had 

Richard Ashcroft on the iPod 

to keep me sane....

Human Conditions

and to provide a trilogy of great RA tracks
a bonus from Alone with Everybody

[Postscript: before I went to bed, I watched the movie ....... no country for old men.... a movie I have seen countless times, but a great movie each time I have watched it ..... it is a work of fiction based on a book of the same name ...... but it seems that Anton Chigurh and real life people such as whom he portrays ..... seem to make the same choices about ants and flies.... but make those choices upon us..... the movie/book {delete as appropriate or not as the case may be} is a wonderful observational piece on the fragility of life......]

That is no country for old men. The young
In one another's arms, birds in the trees
Those dying generations – at their song,
The salmon‐falls, the mackerel‐crowded seas,
Fish, flesh, or fowl, commend all summer long
Whatever is begotten, born, and dies.
Caught in that sensual music all neglect
Monuments of unageing intellect.

An aged man is but a paltry thing,
A tattered coat upon a stick, unless
Soul clap its hands and sing, and louder sing
For every tatter in its mortal dress,
Nor is there singing school but studying
Monuments of its own magnificence;
And therefore I have sailed the seas and come
To the holy city of Byzantium.

O sages standing in God's holy fire
As in the gold mosaic of a wall,
Come from the holy fire, perne in a gyre,
And be the singing‐masters of my soul.
Consume my heart away; sick with desire
And fastened to a dying animal
It knows not what it is; and gather me
Into the artifice of eternity.

Once out of nature I shall never take
My bodily form from any natural thing,
But such a form as Grecian goldsmiths make
Of hammered gold and gold enamelling
To keep a drowsy Emperor awake;
Or set upon a golden bough to sing
To lords and ladies of Byzantium
Of what is past, or passing, or to come.

[Yeats]