.... you know christmas has arrived when by the magic of Bury St Edmunds Cathedral doors you enter oh little town of bethlehem....
and so there we were, awaying in a manger, on a silent night, harking all the heralds......
Of course as the dulcet tones of the choir resonate around the cathedral, you are left thinking somethings........like.......
Mary: Joseph honestly you are soooo not going to believe this, honestly this is gunna make you laugh when I tell you......
Image, if in the last days BC and the first few days of pre-AD there had been Jeremy Kyle.......
JK: So Mary you say that an angel appeared ?.....
Mary: Oh yes Jeremy, the angel did......
JK: And you believe this Joseph ?
Joseph: Smiles back, politely nodding his head........
JK: So Mary you say you are a vigin........
Mary: Oh yes Jeremy, I am, I am......
JK: And you believe this Joseph ?
Joseph: Smiles back, politely nodding his head........
JK: I mean Joseph, you and Mary have not done it, that's correct yes ?
Joseph: Smiles back, politely nodding his head........
JK: I mean Joseph, you and Mary have not done it, and she's says you're the Daddy.....that's correct yes ?
Joseph: Smiles back, politely nodding his head........
JK: Well Mary, we have the results of the lie detector test back......
Audience: Whoop Whoop.......
Oh thank the lord Jeremy Kyle was not invented for at least another 2000yrs or so, otherwise christmas may never have happened.......
Then of course there was the 3 wise men.......
So let me see.....Gold...yep not a bad choice...... Frankincense.....erm erm maybe.... but then Myrrh.....what the hell is myrrh ?
Compare & contrast:
3 wise men - Gold ~ Frankincence ~ Myrrh
3 wise uncles - iPod touch ~ xBox 360 ~ Reindeer onezie
Who are the wise ones now hey ?
Then of course after the birth...imagine Joseph and Mary at the Social Housing Benefit office.....
Benefit officer: Good morning Joseph, good morning Mary.....aaaah what a bonnie baby....
Benefit officer: So you're living in a stable you say ?
Benefit officer: With cows, goats and sheep you say ?
Benefit officer: Sharing with Shepherds you say ?
Benefit officer: Do you have any assets ?
Mary: Well we have some gold, some frankincense, and some myrrh.....
Joseph: Smiles, politely nodding his head........
Joseph: Smiles, politely nodding his head........
Benefit officer: What the hell is myrrh ????
But it's funny how carols sang and heard in our formative years still manage to stir such strong memories over 40 years later.........and of course not forgetting the lord's prayer....every time this prayer starts, I close my eyes and I am transported back to Bulwell St Mary's school in my single digit years....
Our
Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy Name,
thy kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those
who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever. Amen
hallowed be thy Name,
thy kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those
who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever. Amen
so in memory of the baby jesus [he's not the messiah he's a very naughty boy....now clear off !]
we shall finish with a couple of carols.....
