Tuesday 4 February 2014

The fallen madonna with the big boobies.....


Watching the BBC program Fake or Fortune I have mixed feelings....... on the one hand it makes interesting viewing as to the technical detail of identifying the authenticity of a painting but then there is also .....  the sight of Fiona fawning with Philip Mould, then Philip oh I'm so intrigued you know this might just be real Mould and then there is..... bring in the research expert Bendor* Grosvenor.... and the way he glances sideways at the fawning Fiona as he swishes his finger across his iPad....

A key problem with this program is it seems that people with more money then sense, approach the BBC to prove the credibility of a painting they own, having exhausted all their own previous research, in the hope that the BBC will do the graft for them and prove the provenance that it is a genuine artwork ...... and then......hey presto the art owner cashes in. It is not cheap to carryout this level of forensic investigation work and Phillip Mould is not doing it for altruistic curiosity, I am sure he loves the publicity for his own company

Who's paying for this ? we are...... the license payer that's who.

Sure I fully respect that the BBC has to incur expenditure to make interesting programs, but this is one program that gives one lucky viewer a handsome pay off if it works.

However, this weeks program had a twist and how it is one painting has now garnered the publicity for the outrageous frenchies, who are going to burn a painting worth £100,000 ..... how awful for Mr Lang the owner...... but is it really that awful ?? Think about it.

He paid £100,000 for a painting, which by his own admission on the TV program, he knew was not proven to be a genuine Chagall. What is it they say...if it's too good to be true, too cheap to be real then maybe it's not true,  maybe it isn't real.

Mr Lang knew full well what he was doing when he handed over £100,000 to buy that art work. On the program he gives this laissez faire ~ carpe diem {delete as appropriate} attitude.

Well in truth I can get that as a general rule of thumb, I understand without risk takers we achieve nothing, we have to take risks that's how we achieve something, but it is also relative.

Mr Lang prattled on that life is about living, for taking chances and any way even though by the BBC's own enquiries it was shown that the painting was not a genuine Chagall, he still loved the artwork for what it was......yeah right, my arse..... £100,000 for most people is a fortune, a life changing sum of money and yet he just gave a shrug of the shoulders.... ach erm

£100,000 for a painting ? not by the real artist ?...... when it is said by one faker on one of many BBC1 TV news reports that he will paint Mr Lang a replacement for £100.

So I don't take Mr Lang as so relaxed by these turn of events. The gullible and then the greedy. Is this story any different. Is it ? Really ?

So it comes to the supposed outrage that this painting is to be destroyed as a fake, think of it like this........

First off he knew he was buying this from the Russian market, Mr Lang is not a fool, fools don't easily  accumulate money whereby they can spend £100,000 the way he did, it is known that artworks coming from the Russian Market since glastnost [and before] are littered with fakes....

But what if Mr Lang had brought say a container load of cigarettes from someone in say China for perhaps £100,000.......... and the cigarette boxes were marked Benson & Hedges, and sure enough the sellers told Mr Lang they couldn't prove they were real Benson & Hedges, but as the boxes say it they may be genuine.

So Mr Lang parts with his £100,000 and at some time in the future hopes to persuade another party to prove for him [at the other parties expense ....ie YOU & ME] that they are in fact genuine Benson & Hedges cigarettes and are worth a lot more than £100,000. But wait one minute, we show they are not genuine but still we send them to Benson & Hedges and say.... ere mate are these real ?

And surprise surprise Benson & Hedges say no....we are going to destroy them.....

Replace cigarettes and Benson & Hedges for say, Nike, Reebok, Apple, Viagra, Ray Ban sunglasses what would we say then.... outrage? ..... no...... tough shit ....... is what I would say.

I fully respect that these latter are protected by copy right protection issues but the principle still remains the same. When Mr Lang contacted the BBC he knew full well what he was doing.....He is no fool.... and nor should we be taken for fools either ........

I suspect Jose Ivan might have been on a ship of fools too... of course I could be wrong.... but me I have my own view..... and I am not thinking survival techniques when I say taking the piss..... I think he even modelled his hair style on that of Tom Hanks......

Thankfully the Daily mail have provided the investigative forensic proof that the story is genuine, to save us the worry........ look at all this proof.....

They even have uncovered a photo of him before his epic 16 month journey.... this is him before


This is him after his first landing on dry land at the end of his epic and brave journey......



And if proof were needed this is what he looks like after the caring and considerate staff at the US Embassy paid for him to have a free haircut and shave ..........


Now I don't know about the first picture being taken before his journey........ but I think it was taken perhaps 16 years rather than 16 months before he landed on the Marshall Islands ...... and seeing him without his beard forgive the cynic in me for saying so........ but I think he needs to go on a diet of low fat turtles from now on, I don't know about who ate all the pies more like who ate all the turtles ...... who knows he may even be an expert pianist ?



And to finish on the subject of fakery, a friend sent me this photo he had taken recently...... it must be a fake I considered...... what is that round yellowery thing..... ?


(c) A friend of newageingman


But then on my drive to work this morning I saw for my own eyes the bright yellow thing.... it's the sun I tell ya...... the sun.....

The friend who sent me the picture is not a photographer by profession but this is a fantastic photo nevertheless, one which could easily adorn the pages of National Geographic. The photo is actually of Mount St Helen's and I was with this friend last summer looking at this self same image from the viewing point at Johnston Ridge Observatory. When you see all around the national monument, even though it was some 30+ years ago the volcano erupted.... there is still the signs of devastation and destruction left behind..... nature is fighting back though.... and that's what I like about nature..... not a fake in sight ......

My Sod ?
well let's keep 
the volcano theme going....



*[Bendor postscript: It's puerile I know ....... but every time the divine fawning Fiona introduces him on the show, I hear the joke first told to me as a teenager ...... about two Scottish gays, Ben Dover and Phil McCrevis ...... the simple jokes that make a middle aged teenager SvL]