Wednesday, 5 December 2012

Hanging on the telephone.......

.... I read this story the other day and it reminded me of something I did a couple of months back.......and anyone who has seen Michael Douglas in that fabulous 1993 movie, Falling Down might perhaps understand where I am coming from.......

So a couple of months ago it goes like this :

Set Scene :

Home owner returns from a particular stressy day at the office and feeling quite wound up sits down for his evening meal.

On this day at around 1830hrs, and the same time everyday previously since a time he couldn't remember the same thing happened.........

Camera lights Action ! :

brrrrrrrg....... brrrrrrng......... brrrrrrrrrg

Husband: Why is it, every friggin night at the same time, the phone rings ? I bet it is those soddin spammers again.....why doesn't the government declare war on spammers now that Bin Lader is gone ?

brrrrrrrg....... brrrrrrng......... brrrrrrrrrg

Wife [sat in sofa seat]: You get is bound to be those spammer people again and I have just made dinner for us....

brrrrrrrg....... brrrrrrng......... brrrrrrrrrg

Husband: ... puts down dinner and walks to phone and lifts receiver......

Homeowner [née Husband] Hello ?

Caller [recorded message] Our records show that you have been miss~sold PPI Insurance and that you are due to receive compensation. Please press 5 on your keypad and we will inform you how you can receive these funds.

Now it is usual at this point in the daily call that the homeowner let's out an expletive and then slams down the receiver to return to his dinner...... but is ..... Falling Down Day.... and it is at this point the homeowner exhibits a level of immaturity way way beyond his years.....

Homeowner [née Husband] ..... presses 5 on his keypad

Caller [human being] Good evening sir, you have listened to our message. Did you understand it ?

Homeowner [née Husband] Yes I did, and I want you to listen to this message and understand it....... if you or your company ever calls this number or me again, I will make it my life times achievement award to identify your company and it's location and I will fire bomb* it's offices.....UNDERSTOOD !

Slam ....... call ends

Wife [still sat in sofa seat]: Everything alright with your PPI dear ?

Husband [née homeowner]. Yes dear, all sorted, no problem at all. Do you have anymore gravy for me pie ?........this pie is loverly...... I love pies.

* I really did say this, and interestingly there are 2 things that spring to mind. 

1. Making such a threat on a call that you know is being recorded, should undoubtedly lead to a visit from PC Plod and his merry band of thought Police. Had he visited I would loved to have had my day in court, and I have no doubts, that I would not have been convicted.

However, this is the interesting thing.........

2. Instead of 1 above happening, something else has happened. Every time at the same time, the phone does not now ring and the homeowner gets to eat his dinner in uninterrupted peace ..... a good pie should never be interrupted.

So there can only be one SoD, it must surely be.......

but this does give me a great excuse to offer up this bonus SoD from Blondie which is one of my faves....... from this vid, for any pre-post-pubescent teenage boy you can see why she was every school boys dream, she was celtic, united, but baby we had decided you were the best team we had ever seen.......

[DH Postscript: I got a note to say Blondie are playing live in Thetford Forest in 2013......she is now 67 years old and still looks great..... but do I really want to destroy that great school boy dream ? ] 

* [Spam SMS Postscript: When I got one of these SMS text I did reply - see below - they never responded]