..... it seems that Next has such a low opinion of it's customers, they believe we are incapable of knowing how to wash our hands after a p1ss......
There I was in my local Next super/hyper/mega {delete as appropriate} store when I thought..... I don't need a coat..... I need a p1ss..... so off I went to the powder room..... completed my task and then set about, as I always do after such matters, of washing my hands.....
And so there I was....... wondering.... oh my word what do I do now ?... I was confronted with the complexity of a bowl, soap, hot tap, cold tap.... and these two appendages at the end of my arms......
......god this was going to be sooooo complicated, I thought I may never complete this stage of my powder room visit.....
And then to my relief.... [bearing in mind it was a relief visit anyway] I looked up and what did I see.....
postscript......sod it..... let's go full throttle bed bouncy...
yeee har !
There I was in my local Next super/hyper/mega {delete as appropriate} store when I thought..... I don't need a coat..... I need a p1ss..... so off I went to the powder room..... completed my task and then set about, as I always do after such matters, of washing my hands.....
And so there I was....... wondering.... oh my word what do I do now ?... I was confronted with the complexity of a bowl, soap, hot tap, cold tap.... and these two appendages at the end of my arms......
......god this was going to be sooooo complicated, I thought I may never complete this stage of my powder room visit.....
And then to my relief.... [bearing in mind it was a relief visit anyway] I looked up and what did I see.....
I saw this
I looked upwards and declared
...... oh thank you Next Risk Management team....
oh thank you .... thank you.......
I consider myself reasonably smart, but I did think, just how pigshit thick do you have to be, that you need to have a pictorial guide as to how to wash your hands in a public bog ?......
What was going through their minds, when The Next Risk Management team, during their weekly team meeting, declared that...... we'll fit one of these posters in all of our wash rooms..... at what point did the intern not think to stand up and say..... you stupid dicks..... unless you think all of our customers have a mental age of 5 or less, by all means remind them to wash their hands.... but give them story book of how to...... seriously ??.....
Honestly no wonder the youth of today are incapable of making a decision or working out a problem.....
So to the NEXT Risk Managment Team.... this is for you....
There can only be one song really......
And what a great song it is....
I guarantee before the end is out you will be
tapping your toes and joining in...
and as the sun is shinning
and I am in bed bouncy mood
what about this bonus one too......
this is fab.....
this is for you
postscript......sod it..... let's go full throttle bed bouncy...
yeee har !
